Magazine

Two toddlers in rain boots pointing at a sheep in a muddy farm park enclosure.

Farmyard Crises and Explaining Baby Sheep to Toddlers

I'm standing ankle-deep in something I'm desperately praying is just mud at Mudchute Farm, trying to wipe half a chewed oat biscuit off Twin A’s cheek, when Twin B extends a sticky, demanding finger toward the livestock enclosure. The sky...

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Dad staring hopelessly at a singing yellow plastic fish toy

The yellow menace: A twin dad's survival guide to baby shark toys

It's 4:12 in the morning. I'm standing in the hallway wearing nothing but mismatched socks and a pair of boxers that have seen significantly better days, violently negotiating with a water-activated plastic fish. The fish is singing. It has been...

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A tired dad looking at his phone while a toddler plays with wooden ocean toys

Decoding the Baby Shark Lyrics Without Completely Losing It

It's 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm standing in my dimly lit Portland kitchen holding a rapidly cooling pour-over while my 11-month-old attempts to dismantle the lower cabinet hardware. He isn't crying, exactly. He's emitting this steady, rhythmic low-frequency...

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Sarah drinking coffee while baby plays safely in a wooden play space.

Why I Finally Caved and Bought a Play Area for My Kids

It was a Tuesday morning in late 2017, and I was wearing a pair of black yoga pants that had a highly questionable smear of sweet potato puree on the left thigh. Maya was seven months old, which meant she...

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A dad nervously holding a baby spoon with thinned peanut butter next to a high chair

The peanut butter baby protocol: Debugging a first allergen

Flashback to a misty Portland Tuesday about six months ago. My wife Sarah was in the other room on a muted Zoom call, and I was standing in the kitchen staring at a nine-dollar jar of organic, single-ingredient peanut butter...

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A bewildered dad looking at a baby platypus plush toy next to a modern laptop and baby gear.

The Baby Platypus Taught Me More About Parenting Than Books

When it came time to figure out how we were going to explain the birds and the beesβ€”or just basic mammalian biologyβ€”to our kid, I got three entirely different pieces of advice within a 24-hour window. My mother-in-law told me...

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A tired dad holding a swaddled baby pig and a coffee mug in a messy kitchen.

What I Learned Debugging Life With Baby Pigs

I'm currently sitting on the kitchen linoleum at 3:14 AM with a laser thermometer in one hand and a syringe of milk replacer in the other. My 11-month-old daughter is finally asleep upstairs after a brutal teething episode, and I'm...

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Mother sitting on a park bench watching her toddler climb a wooden structure.

Watching my kid fall off the playground cured my helicopter anxiety

The wind coming off Lake Michigan was aggressive enough to make my eyes water, but I couldn't blink. My two-year-old was fifteen feet up a rope climbing pyramid at Maggie Daley Park. His left foot was wedged between two cables....

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A very tired mom wearing a stained t-shirt holding a coffee mug and looking thoughtfully out a window

The Myth That Ruined My Newborn Days (And The Baby Orangutan Fix)

I was wearing Tom's vintage college hoodieβ€”the gray one with the mysterious yellow mustard stain from 2014β€”and it was somewhere around 3:17 AM. Maya was three weeks old and screaming like I'd personally offended her entire bloodline. I had a...

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