Magazine

Tired mom sitting in a nursery rocking chair holding a sleeping baby over her shoulder.

When Can You Finally Stop Burping Your Baby?

It was 3:14 in the morning with my oldest, Carter. He was entirely milk-drunk, limp as a wet noodle, and dead asleep on my shoulder. And there I was, wide awake, rhythmically pounding on his tiny back like I was...

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Tired dad writing a message inside a children's book at a baby shower

What to Write in a Baby Shower Book When You Are Out of Ideas

Before my wife’s best friend had her first child, I found myself backed into a corner of her cramped London flat, holding a pristine copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar and a biro that was rapidly running out of ink....

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Taylor Big Baby guitar next to a ten-pound newborn in a Texas nursery

Why A Taylor Big Baby Fits My Nursery & My Ten-Pound Infant

Don't let your overly enthusiastic mother-in-law convince you to buy forty boxes of Size N diapers when your doctor says you're measuring three weeks ahead, y'all. I'm just gonna be real with you, that massive tower of pristine white Huggies...

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A tired father staring blankly at two bowls of water on a changing mat

The "stump tail baby lala" incident and other newborn horrors

It was 3:14 AM on our third day home from the hospital, and I was holding a freshly un-nappied twin at arm's length, staring in abject horror at her abdomen. Attached to her tiny, perfect belly was a shriveling, alien...

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Toddler holding a clean rib bone sitting on a bamboo blanket on the grass

St Louis Ribs vs Baby Back: Which is Actually Safe for Your Baby

My mother-in-law told me handing my ten-month-old a rib bone was essentially attempted murder. My favorite internet momfluencer swore a massive rack of meat was the ultimate teething hack. And when I asked my pediatrician about it, she just gave...

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Tired mom sitting in a nursery glider looking at her phone in the dark.

Why That Reality TV Baby Drama Actually Made Me Scream

It was 3:14 AM, and I was pinned under my oldest son in a rocking chair that squeaked every time I shifted my weight. My C-section incision felt like it was actively unzipping, I smelled like sour milk, and my...

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A highly suspicious infant looking at a plastic spoon covered in beige oat mush

Surviving the great weaning transition of 2022

It was precisely 11:14 am on a Tuesday, and I was standing on a dining chair trying to scrape what appeared to be organic beige cement off the kitchen ceiling with a silicone spatula. The twins were exactly six months...

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A vintage plush toy sitting safely on a high nursery shelf away from the crib

Why gifting a vintage november 24th beanie baby gives me hives

I watched my sister-in-law unearth a vacuum-sealed plastic bag at my baby shower, her eyes shining with that specific millennial nostalgia that usually precedes a terrible financial decision. She pulled out a dusty plush turkey from 1997. She proudly announced...

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A stressed mother holding a cup of coffee while looking at messy toys on a rug

The Viral Fidget Toy You Should Never Give Your Teething Infant

It was 2:14 PM on a Tuesday and I was wearing my husband Dave's faded college sweatshirt that smells faintly of old garlic, desperately sweeping my hand across our living room rug like a frantic human metal detector. I was...

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