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A realistic looking sound machine sitting across the nursery from a sleeping infant in a wooden crib.

The Truth About Baby White Noise (And My Jet Engine Mistake)

I was standing in the middle of my oldest son's nursery at two in the morning, holding my phone out in front of me like a paranormal investigator trying to catch a ghost, while a free sound-measuring app I had...

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Exhausted mom in sweatpants holding a crying newborn surrounded by unused baby gear

New Baby What You Wishing For? The Brutal Truth About The First Year

I'm standing in my tiny, unventilated bathroom at 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, wearing a pair of mesh hospital underwear that I've somehow managed to launder and reuse because I refuse to let them go, holding my firstborn,...

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1-month-oldbaby developmentbaby weightfourth trimestermillennialmotherhood
Exhausted mom looking at a digital scale next to a sleeping newborn in a blue polar bear blanket.

Stop Crying Over Baby Weight: A Letter to My Sleep-Deprived Self

Dear Jess from six months ago, I see you. You're standing barefoot in the master bathroom at 3 AM. You're completely naked, holding a screaming, naked infant. You step on the cold digital scale, squinting in the dark to read...

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Stressed dad holding a crying baby while looking at a laptop screen

Parenting a Baby Wario: When Your Newborn is High-Needs

I'm standing in the dark hallway at 3:14 AM, bouncing on my heels at exactly 60 beats per minute, because any deviation in rhythm causes the 11-pound human in my arms to reboot into a full-scale meltdown. Outside, the Portland...

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A tired mother holding a babbling baby in a nursery setting

Decoding Baby Vocals 3 Months In: A Nurse's Guide to Cooing

I was standing in the dark at three in the morning, holding a screaming potato of a human, trying to follow advice from a very expensive parenting app. The app told me that early language development requires measured, calm adult...

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1-month-old4-month-oldbaby developmentdevelopmental milestonesinfant health
A tired mom holding her 1-month-old baby who is staring blankly at a ceiling fan instead of her face.

Staring At Walls: The Blurry Truth About Baby Vision Development

It was 3 AM on a Tuesday in 2017, and I was wearing a gray maternity tank top from Target that smelled strongly of sour milk, stale coffee, and raw desperation. The house was entirely silent except for the rhythmic,...

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A mother looking at a baby monitor screen in a dark bedroom

Why The Baby V.O.X Monitor Setting Fixed My Sleep

It was 3:14 in the morning and I was staring at a glowing rectangle of static, trying to decide if the rhythmic scratching sound was my son suffocating or just the dog licking his paws in the hallway. I used...

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Mom holding baby while looking exhausted in a messy living room

The Truth About Finding a Good Baby TV Show (And When To Turn It Off)

I was wedged tight between a bulk box of Etsy shipping mailers and a half-empty bag of stale Goldfish crackers, holding my breath in the pantry so my toddler wouldn't hear me existing. Out in the living room, my oldest—who...

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6-month-oldbaby gearbehavioral developmentbudgetingmillennial dad
Stressed dad looking at a laptop while a baby plays on a wooden play gym

A Dad's Guide to Newborn Investment Accounts and Dictator Logic

Dear Marcus from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery surrounded by three different W-2 forms, a half-eaten sleeve of stale saltines, and your phone open to a deeply unhinged Reddit thread about IRS Form...

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