What I wish I knew about spielzeug für kleinkinder back then
I was sitting dead center on the rug in our tiny apartment living room, wearing yoga pants that I’m pretty sure had crusty sweet potato purée smeared on the left thigh from three days prior, just staring blankly at a...
Why Wooden Toys for a 1-Year-Old Might Actually Save Your Sanity
It's 5:42 am on a Tuesday, and I'm currently staring at a plastic farm animal that has been singing the same off-key rendition of 'Old MacDonald' for fourteen consecutive minutes. Maya has her tiny foot firmly planted on the cow...
Why Your Plastic Baby Rattle Might Be A Terrible Idea
My mother-in-law brought over a solid silver shaker straight from a jeweler in Delhi. A woman in my mom group swore by a terrifying plastic monstrosity that flashed strobe lights and played generic techno beats. My doctor looked at both...
The newborn rattle timeline from potato stage to blunt force trauma
I was standing in the kitchen at 4am, holding a plastic object that resembled a neon torture device, trying to work out why my three-week-old daughters were actively ignoring it. It was a Tuesday. Or possibly a Thursday. Time becomes...
What I wish I knew about the holz babyrassel as a first toy
I was sitting on my living room floor at three in the morning, staring at a battery-operated plastic cow that was playing a distorted, low-battery version of a nursery rhyme on a terrifying loop. My son Dev was screaming. The...
Dear Marcus: Stop Buying Loud Plastic Toys and Read This
Dear Marcus of exactly six months ago, It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. You're standing in the dark hallway of your Portland bungalow, clutching a lukewarm bottle of formula, staring at a flashing plastic boombox toy that's aggressively singing "I'M...
Why Most Infant Play Mats Are A Trap (And What Actually Works)
I was on my hands and knees in the middle of my living room, frantically trying to scrub curdled breastmilk out of a felt lion’s mane with a single dry baby wipe, while my three-month-old screamed like I was actively...
Why The Wrong Infant Play Mat Will Ruin Your Tuesday Afternoon
It was 2:14 PM on a particularly bleak, rain-lashed London Tuesday, and a plastic, primary-coloured toucan was aggressively singing a distorted, tinny version of ‘La Cucaracha’ while swinging precisely three inches above my daughter’s nose. I was sitting on the...
Surviving the Night with a Baby Rassel: Why Simple Toys Win
The digital clock on the microwave glared at me in aggressive, glowing red numbers: 3:14 AM. I was standing barefoot in a puddle of something unidentifiable (let's optimistically call it water) while holding a screaming two-year-old who was currently producing...