Magazine

london dadorganic cottonouterwearparenting humorsafe sleep
Two highly unamused snow babies wearing far too many layers in a cold London park.

The brutal truth about surviving winter with two snow babies

It's currently two degrees above freezing, it's raining sideways in that aggressively spiteful London way, and I'm trying to fold a screaming infant into a pram while she's wearing an outfit that has the exact dimensions and flexibility of a...

Read more

baby geareco-friendlylondon dadmillennialmotherhood
A tired dad surrounded by baby gear looking at the morning news

The truth about royal family baby number 4 (and my own panic)

It was 6:43 AM on a violently rainy Tuesday, and Twin A had just successfully wedged a soggy, half-eaten piece of Marmite toast into the lower vents of our living room radiator. Twin B, not to be outdone by her...

Read more

baby teethersgearinfant safetylondon dadparenting humorpop culture
A confused dad looking at his phone while holding a silicone baby teether

Why Googling Playboi Carti's Baby Boi at 3 AM is a Parenting Mistake

There I was, balancing a dangerously lukewarm oat flat white on my knee at the Greenwich park swings, trying to pretend I still possessed a shred of cultural relevance. The dad pushing his toddler next to me—a bloke wearing immaculate...

Read more

baby healthhumorlondon dadmillennialsparenthoodrelationship
Exhausted dad sitting on a messy sofa holding a baby monitor while a film plays.

Why The Oho Enthan Baby Movie Is Our Date Night Survival Test

The biggest lie the parenting industrial complex ever sold us is the concept of the 8:00 PM transition. You know the one I mean—the mythical hour where the house suddenly falls silent, the ambient lighting turns universally flattering, and you...

Read more

babyfirst trimesterlondon dadmillennialparenting humor
An expectant father looking panicked next to an ultrasound monitor displaying a baby heart rate.

The Baby Heart Rate Gender Myth: Twin Dad Survives The Scan

The room at Guy’s Hospital was aggressively dim, smelling faintly of antibacterial wipes and the specific, cold terror of impending parenthood. My wife was lying on the examination table with a generous dollop of freezing blue gel smeared across her...

Read more

baby sleeplondon dadmillennialsorganic clothingparenting humorpop culture
Tired dad holding two toddlers while playing pop music on a smartphone

Surviving Twins With Baby Lyrics: Justin Bieber To The Rescue

Tuesday, 5:43 AM. Florence (Twin A) has somehow managed to lodge a piece of dried Weetabix perfectly up her left nostril, while Matilda (Twin B) is executing a flawless, lung-busting temper tantrum because her water is, in her professional two-year-old...

Read more

baby girlbaby nameshumourlondon dadparenting tips
Exhausted dad holding twin baby girls while looking at a name list

The Great 3AM Hunt for Baby Girl Names Starting With V

The glow of the laptop screen at three in the morning is a uniquely hostile type of light, especially when it’s illuminating a spreadsheet containing seventy-four potential names for a human being you haven't even met yet. Outside our London...

Read more

baby giftslondon dadmillennialnewbornorganicparenting humor
Exhausted dad holding two crying twins surrounded by useless musical baby toys

How to choose a baby gift without getting blocked on WhatsApp

I'm currently standing in my narrow London hallway holding a four-foot-tall plush giraffe that aggressively blares a tinny version of 'It's a Small World' whenever you look at it funny. It's Tuesday morning, my two-year-old twin girls are currently screaming...

Read more

humorlondon dadnature learningorganic clothingoutdoor
Toddler in a raincoat looking nervously at a flock of hissing waterfowl near a London pond

The Day the Park Waterfowl Fought Back: A Survival Log

The hissing started before we even breached the tree line at Hampstead Heath, sounding less like a natural animal noise and more like a punctured bicycle tyre that was somehow actively angry with me. I had a toddler under each...

Read more