Dear Past Marcus: Troubleshooting the Great Baby Mat Matrix
Row 47 of my "Baby Infrastructure" Google Sheet is where my sanity finally encountered a fatal error. It was 2:14 AM. The ambient temperature in the nursery was exactly 71.4 degrees, I had logged 11 wet diapers for the day,...
Wie groß sollte eine Babydecke sein? A dad's troubleshooting guide
The left rear wheel of the stroller locked up with a brutal clicking noise right in the middle of a crosswalk in Portland’s Pearl District. It was raining, obviously, because we live in Oregon and taking an 11-month-old outside requires...
The Brutal Truth About Fox Pelt Blankets in Your Baby's Nursery
When my mother-in-law's sister visited right after my daughter was born, she brought a genuine silver fox fur throw in a massive garment bag. She told me real pelts were the only way to keep winter babies properly insulated, citing...
The Great Layering Crash: Figuring Out Fall Baby Girl Outfits
We were in the back of my Subaru Outback in the Sauvie Island pumpkin patch parking lot, and my eleven-month-old daughter was emitting the thermal energy of a small sun. It was maybe 58 degrees outside. But inside the car,...
Bedruckte Baby Strampler: Troubleshooting the Custom Romper
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was using my iPhone flashlight to inspect the inner thighs of my screaming eleven-month-old. Leo was wearing a custom printed "Future Coder - Loading 50%" romper that my brother had proudly...
The ugly truth about silicone jewelry teething trends and safety
I was standing in the checkout line at the Target on Roosevelt Road with a lukewarm cold brew I was too exhausted to actually drink when the geometric mint-green necklace snapped. Maya had a death grip on the nylon string....
Dear Past Marcus: You Will Wear Silicone Teething Jewelry
It’s 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and you’re standing in the kitchen watching Maya try to tape her favorite delicate gold chain back together while our five-month-old daughter looks on with zero remorse. You’re currently thinking, Wow, babies have an...
The truth about tree sap teethers and your baby's weird fevers
I was staring at a thermometer flashing 102.4 in red, convinced my daughter's bottom lateral incisor was trying to kill her. My mother-in-law had already called twice to tell me it was just teething and I should rub a little...
Fox Blankets: Debugging Infant Sleep Safety and Stroller Heat
My mother-in-law explicitly instructed me to drape the little orange woodland throw over the stroller so the baby wouldn't get a sunburn. A guy in my local Portland dad's Discord server told me doing exactly that would basically create a...