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Why That Reality TV Baby Drama Actually Made Me Scream
It was 3:14 AM, and I was pinned under my oldest son in a rocking chair that squeaked every time I shifted my weight. My C-section incision felt like it was actively unzipping, I smelled like sour milk, and my...
Surviving the great weaning transition of 2022
It was precisely 11:14 am on a Tuesday, and I was standing on a dining chair trying to scrape what appeared to be organic beige cement off the kitchen ceiling with a silicone spatula. The twins were exactly six months...
Why gifting a vintage november 24th beanie baby gives me hives
I watched my sister-in-law unearth a vacuum-sealed plastic bag at my baby shower, her eyes shining with that specific millennial nostalgia that usually precedes a terrible financial decision. She pulled out a dusty plush turkey from 1997. She proudly announced...
Why The Baby Beluga Musician NYT Clue Destroyed My Sleep Entirely
The glowing rectangle of my phone was the only light in the nursery at 3:42 am last Tuesday. Twin A (Maya) was draped across my left shoulder like a heavily sedated sack of potatoes, occasionally whimpering and aggressively gnawing on...
Raising a Gemini Baby Without Losing Your Mind Or All Your Friends
"Don't tell Mr. Henderson that his grass looks like garbage. I don't care if that's what Daddy said in the kitchen, you keep your mouth shut because your wife is my friend and I've to sit next to her at...
When Do Dogs Lose Their Baby Teeth? A Twin Dad's Survival Guide
I stepped on it barefoot at exactly six in the morning. It was sharp, cold, and entirely unyielding, which naturally led me to assume I had discovered yet another rogue piece of plastic from the twins' supposedly tidied toy box....
That First Slippery Baby Pear And The Constipation Chronicles
My thumb was covered in aquaphor and desperation. It was day four of the great solid-food bowel strike, and my son was looking at me like I had betrayed him. Starting solids at six months is heavily romanticized on the...
Megan Walerius, Birth Plans, and the Chaos of Expectations
When we announced the twins were on the way, I received three distinct pieces of advice within a forty-five-minute window at my local pub. My mother, clutching a small glass of sherry, told us to simply let nature take its...
The ugly truth about deep cleaning your reusable cloth diapers
I was standing over the changing table last November, the Chicago wind rattling the windowpanes, pulling a supposedly fresh cloth diaper off my toddler. It smelled exactly like the gerbil enclosure at a rundown pet store. I had washed that...