Magazine
The Biggest Baby Rattlesnake Myth Ruining Your Desert Vacation
I was standing in my mother-in-law's Scottsdale backyard at 7 AM, wearing these completely impractical wide-leg linen pants that I thought made me look "resort casual" but actually just made me look like I was in a cult. I was...
Debugging Dinner: The Honest Truth About Washable Adult Bibs
At exactly 6:14 PM on Thanksgiving, the system architecture of our family dinner completely collapsed. My eleven-month-old, currently running a highly unstable version of his motor-skills firmware, had just discovered the gravitational physics of mashed sweet potatoes, launching a spoonful...
What Nobody Tells You About Buying Clothes for Your Newborn
I was exactly thirty-eight weeks pregnant with my first kid, sitting on the floor of his perfectly painted sage green nursery, just absolutely sobbing over a tiny tweed vest. I had spent the last six months accumulating what can only...
The Great Baby Markt Meltdown (And What You Actually Need)
I was exactly thirty-four weeks pregnant with my oldest son, sitting on the cold bathroom tile at two in the morning, openly weeping over a seventy-dollar wipe warmer. My phone was glowing in the dark with fourteen different tabs open,...
The Huge Car Seat Lie That Cost Me Weeks of Sleep (And Money)
I was standing in the middle of a big box baby storeβseven months pregnant with Leo, wearing maternity leggings that definitely had a crusty yogurt stain on the knee from God knows whereβjust absolutely sobbing. My husband Dave was holding...
The 3AM Zipper Wars: An Exhausted Dadβs Guide to Baby Pajamas
It was November 2022, the radiator in our drafty Victorian flat was clanking like a dying tractor, and I was holding two identical, screaming infants who felt exactly like hot water bottles wrapped in synthetic fleece. My wife was furiously...
The Truth About Suntan Lotion for Newborns (And Summer Survival)
It was 28 degrees in London, which means the pavements were melting, the Central Line had become a mobile sauna, and everyone was suddenly terribly aggressive about acquiring ice lollies. I was standing in the sun care aisle of Boots,...
Sunblock Newborn Panic: What I Wish I Knew About Summer
Dear Past Me from exactly six months ago. Okay, I know. Time is a flat circle. Leo is four now, and Maya is seven, and we're blissfully out of the fragile newborn woods. But six months ago, when my best...
Letter to My Past Self: The Cold Truth About Toddler Wooden Blocks
It's 2:14 in the morning. I'm sitting on the edge of the bathtub rubbing the arch of my left foot where a neon plastic interlocking brick just tried to amputate my heel. I'm writing this to you, Priya from six...