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Exhausted dad looking at a fluffy puppy stealing a dummy on the living room floor

The Great Baby Golden Retriever Myth And How My Family Survived

There's a specific sort of betrayal you feel when you're prying a soggy, half-chewed muslin cloth out of the jaws of a twelve-week-old retriever while simultaneously trying to stop a toddler from attempting to ride said animal like a Shetland...

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Toddler standing on a coffee table knocking over a tall tower of blocks

When Your Toddler Turns Into a Baby Godzilla Destroying Your House

Yesterday at exactly 4:15 PM, I found myself hiding in the pantry eating stale Goldfish crackers in the dark while my two-year-old stood victorious on the coffee table, roaring at the top of his lungs after methodically sweeping my last...

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Exhausted British dad looking at a laptop spreadsheet of rare daughter monikers while holding two bottles.

My 3am breakdown over finding genuinely rare monikers for daughters

It was 3:14 in the morning, the glow of my MacBook illuminating the half-eaten Hobnob resting dangerously close to my wife's massive, third-trimester bump. We were locked in a vicious, whispered argument over whether "Lyra" sounded too much like "liar"...

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A wooden baby play gym set up on a messy living room rug.

Raising a Brilliant Kid Without Buying Into All the Crazy Hype

I was sitting on my living room rug with my firstborn, sweating through my t-shirt while aggressively waving a black-and-white contrast flashcard in his face like I was trying to land a plane on a runway. He was four months...

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A sleep-deprived dad staring blankly at a hardware-mounted stair barrier while twin toddlers plot to dismantle it

The Complete Disaster of Buying a Baby Gate for Stairs

I'm halfway down the staircase, suspended entirely in mid-air at 2:14 in the morning, clutching a sticky bottle of strawberry Calpol in one hand and a shrieking twenty-pound toddler in the other. My left foot has just hooked firmly under...

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A wooden convertible crib next to a half-empty coffee cup in a messy nursery.

The absolute hell of buying baby furniture (and what to buy)

It was 2017, I was twenty-four weeks pregnant with Maya, and I was sitting cross-legged on the linoleum floor of a massive warehouse store crying into a half-empty iced oat milk latte. I was wearing these atrocious grey Target maternity...

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A father looking at his glowing smartphone in a dark nursery while holding a sleeping infant.

What a Baby Flamingo Taught Me About the 50/50 Parenting Split

The digital meat thermometer flashed 98.6 degrees, which meant the bottle of pumped breastmilk I was holding was exactly best for human consumption. It was 3:17 AM on a Tuesday, the Portland rain was actively trying to dissolve our bedroom...

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Mom sitting on nursery floor looking stressed next to a wooden baby gym

What the Baby Emmanuel News Actually Taught Me About Motherhood

I was wearing my husband's stained college sweatshirt, the one with the frayed cuffs that permanently smells like sour milk, sitting on the cold hexagonal tiles of our guest bathroom at 3:14 AM while Leo screamed in the next room....

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A basket of newborn clothes sitting next to an unmarked bottle of laundry detergent

Dear Jess: The Unfiltered Truth About Buying Baby Detergent

Dear Jess from six months ago, I see you standing there in aisle 14 of the H-E-B in Corsicana, completely frozen. You've got your two-year-old hanging off the front of the shopping cart trying to eat a bruised banana, your...

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