Magazine

A stressed dad holding a silicone panda teether while researching reptile facts on his phone

Letter to Past Marcus: Baby Rattlesnakes & Other Terrors

Hey Marcus from six months ago. It's me, future Marcus. You're currently sitting in the dark at 3:14 AM, the retina display of your phone burning a hole in your exhausted corneas because you tried to Google "best wooden baby...

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Dad stepping over a massive pile of baby toys scattered across a living room floor.

The Great Baby Spielzeug Overload: Surviving the Toy Avalanche

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was performing what I thought was a routine diaper exchange protocol in the dark when my left heel made contact with a singing plastic farm animal. I don't know what kind...

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Two toddlers surrounded by wooden blocks and silicone teethers in a living room

The great baby toys invasion: A survival guide for tired parents

It's 4:13 in the morning, and I've just stepped barefoot onto a hard plastic sheep that immediately responded by bleating the alphabet into the dark, silent hallway. I froze, my foot hovering above the floorboards, waiting for the inevitable twin...

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Messy living room with bright plastic infant items mixed with wooden blocks

The Plastic Avalanche: A Real Parent's Guide to Better Play

The singing plastic dog went off at exactly 3:14 AM. I know the exact time because the microwave clock was glaring at me in the dark kitchen where I was standing in a milk-stained gray nursing tank, furiously shaking a...

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Wooden bear rattle toy resting on a clean playroom floor

A Rat in the Playroom and Why I Tossed All Our Plastic Toys

I was holding a lukewarm mug of chai, stepping over the scattered debris of my toddler's morning play session. Beside the television stand, there was a grey lump. At first, I thought it was just a discarded lint ball from...

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Dad staring hopelessly at a singing yellow plastic fish toy

The yellow menace: A twin dad's survival guide to baby shark toys

It's 4:12 in the morning. I'm standing in the hallway wearing nothing but mismatched socks and a pair of boxers that have seen significantly better days, violently negotiating with a water-activated plastic fish. The fish is singing. It has been...

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A confused father staring at a cardboard box in a messy London kitchen

Finding a Baby Pigeon: A Very Stressed Dad's Guide to Bird Rescue

It was a Tuesday afternoon, raining with that specific type of London spite that bypasses your waterproofs entirely, when Maya marched into the kitchen holding what appeared to be a damp, breathing loofah. She dumped it unceremoniously next to the...

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Twin baby reaching for a wooden hanging toy while lying on an organic cotton playmat.

The absolute madness of tracking baby milestones in year one

I'm staring at a colour-coded spreadsheet at 2:14 in the morning while one of my daughters attempts to eat a rogue piece of lint she found in the folds of my pyjama top. The spreadsheet is titled 'Infant Progress Tracker'...

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A disassembled plastic doll sitting next to a damp cloth and forceps

The surgical reality of buying a baby alive doll for your kid

It's eleven at night. The lighting in my guest bathroom is deeply unflattering. I'm holding a pair of stainless steel tweezers in my right hand and my phone flashlight in my left. Pinned firmly beneath my elbow is a rigid...

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