Magazine

A frustrated mom looking at a flexible mesh baby gate spanning a hallway.

The Blunt Truth About Retractable Baby Gates (And My Worst Night)

It was 6:15 PM, I had a half-empty jar of marinara sauce tucked under my left arm, a screaming six-month-old anchored on my right hip, and my two-year-old was actively trying to feed the dog a AAA battery he found...

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Tired dad looking confused at a laptop while an 11-month-old baby plays with a wooden play gym.

What Is An Anchor Baby? Debugging A Toxic Immigration Myth

My 11-month-old son had just figured out how to forcefully eject his mashed peas across our kitchen island when my wife Maya’s college roommate, Sofia, started quietly crying over her water glass. Sofia is six months pregnant. Her husband, Leo,...

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Mom holding a baby monitor parent unit in a dark nursery

The 2 AM Wi-Fi Outage That Taught Me How to Pick the Best Baby Monitor

Lightning struck somewhere past our back pasture, the thunder rattled the bedroom windows, and the little green light on my nightstand router immediately turned a sinister, blinking red. It was 2:14 AM. I snatched up my phone, but instead of...

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Bewildered dad holding an avocado teether while looking at his drooling baby

When Do Babies Get Teeth? A Dad's Troubleshooting Guide

Dear Marcus from six months ago: Put down the tactical flashlight. She is not going to let you look in her mouth, and shining a 1000-lumen beam at a five-month-old's face at 2 AM is exactly why your wife is...

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A tired dad holding a teething toy while looking at a garden drain

How the Baby Jessica Rescue Made Me Fear My Own Back Garden

Tuesday morning, 11:14 AM. Florence has somehow managed to wedge her entire left leg into an exposed drainage pipe near the rhododendrons. I'm frozen in the doorway holding a half-empty mug of lukewarm builder's tea, watching my two-year-old attempt to...

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The truth about surviving the baby groot merchandise invasion

I was elbow-deep under the sofa cushions on a Tuesday morning, executing a routine sweep for rogue Cheerios and whatever sticky substance had claimed the TV remote, when my fingers brushed against something hard, plastic, and distinctly anatomical. I pulled...

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A tired mom stepping over a baby gate holding a cup of coffee

The Great Staircase Panic: A Messy Guide to Baby Gates

It was 7:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, I was wearing one wool sock and one ankle sock, and I had my back turned to the living room for exactly four seconds to pour my second cup of coffee....

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A confused dad looking at a tiny baby roach on the kitchen floor.

The 3AM Kitchen Intruder: Dealing With Baby Roaches

It was 3:14 AM, and I was doing something I explicitly knew I shouldn't be doing. Maya, who's two years old but possesses the demanding palate of a Michelin-star food critic, refused to go back to sleep unless her milk...

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Mother looking concerned at a baby resting in a plush newborn lounger pillow

The ugly truth about baby loungers and your precious sleep

I was sitting in my living room last Thanksgiving when my sister-in-law proudly whispered that her newborn had been asleep for three hours in one of those plush, overstuffed infant nests on the sofa. She looked at me like she...

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