Magazine
Was ziehe ich meinem baby an? A very tired mom's clothing guide
It was 3:17 AM, and I was standing in front of the hallway thermostat wearing Daveβs stained Ohio State college hoodie, holding a screaming seven-week-old Maya. The digital display said 71 degrees. I was sweating. Maya was sweating, mostly because...
Why the Toddler Sleep Sack is the Only Way We Survive Bedtime
It was 2:13 AM on a random Tuesday when I heard the unmistakable, bone-chilling thump coming from the nursery down the hall. I dropped the Etsy shop packing tape I was holding, sprinted down the hardwood floor expecting the absolute...
Data-Obsessed Dad Review: The Truth About the Pampers Club App
It's 3:14 AM, the ambient temperature in the nursery is exactly 68.5 degrees, and I've a small LED flashlight gripped firmly between my teeth. I'm trying to smooth out a crinkled plastic wrapper from a fresh sleeve of Swaddlers so...
The Sandwich Generation Survival Guide to the Adult Bib
I was wearing my husband Dave's faded Syracuse hoodieβthe one with the fraying cuffs that smells faintly of old garlic because he refuses to let me wash it on hotβwhen the coffee went airborne. It was exactly 9:14 AM on...
Dear past Priya: The unapologetic guide to kinder kleider
You're currently pinned to the nursery floor. Your toddler is starfish-spread across the rug, screaming because his green pants feel too spicy today. You're sweating through your scrub top, twenty minutes late for your shift at Rush, staring at a...
Debugging Baby Winter Temperature: A Dadβs Layering Logic
We were twenty-two minutes into the deployment phase of leaving the house, standing in our freezing Portland driveway, when the entire system crashed. I had just spent a quarter of an hour wrestling my 11-month-old son into a heavily insulated,...
Why I Exclusively Buy Boys Cargo Pants for My Feral Twin Girls
My mother cheerfully informed me that little girls should be dressed exclusively in floral smocked dresses, which is a lovely sentiment if your children sit perfectly still on a velvet cushion playing the harp. My extremely intense NCT group leader...
The Absolute Biggest Myth About Finding a Good Baby Clothing Store
The greatest lie ever sold to expectant parents isn't that you'll eventually sleep again (though that's a massive, highly documented falsehood). It's the entire concept of the baby clothing store. Before the twins arrived, I had this hallucination of wandering...
A Letter to Past Jess About Finding a Quality Kids Boutique
Dear Jess from last October. I'm currently staring at a giant black trash bag sitting in the hallway that's full of neon, plastic-feeling shirts that somehow shrank three sizes in a single wash, and pants where the knees blew out...