Magazine

Close up of a newborn baby looking at the camera with wide bright eyes

So, are all babies born with blue eyes? What I actually learned

I was sitting in Mount Sinai hospital, room 412, wearing those horrific mesh underwear and a hospital gown that smelled vaguely of industrial bleach and desperation, holding my two-day-old son Leo. My husband, Dave, had just returned with the worst...

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Distressed twin dad holding a baby wearing an organic cotton bodysuit while staring at a clean nappy.

When Your 1-Month-Old Baby Refuses to Poop: A Twin Dad's Guide

It's 3:14 AM on a wet Tuesday in London, and I'm shining my iPhone torch directly into my daughter's nappy like an amateur archaeologist hoping to uncover ancient ruins. Nothing. Just a pristine, mocking landscape of dry bamboo fiber. Meanwhile,...

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Exhausted dad buying sunblock newborn babies can use at the pharmacy

The Panic of Buying Sunblock Newborn Twins Can Actually Tolerate

Standing in aisle four of our local Boots, sweat pooling in the small of my back, I found myself staring at thirty-seven different brightly coloured bottles while two four-week-old girls actively lost their minds in a double buggy. The great...

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A confused dad holding up a tiny, overly complicated baby dress with too many snaps.

The Tactical, Data-Driven Reality of Buying Baby Girl Clothing

My daughter's left foot is currently wedged somewhere inside the armhole of a tulle skirt that somehow features six different layers of synthetic mesh, and she's screaming at me like I just tried to permanently delete her favorite stuffed animal....

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A scattered pile of wooden blocks on a living room rug next to a coffee cup

Analog QA Testing: Why I Replaced The Flashing Toys With Wood

It was exactly 3:14 AM when my bare heel made contact with the plastic singing cow. I was holding a half-asleep eleven-month-old, navigating the dark hallway by memory, when 180 decibels of synthesized banjo music erupted from the floorboards. The...

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A stressed dad holding a silicone panda teether while researching reptile facts on his phone

Letter to Past Marcus: Baby Rattlesnakes & Other Terrors

Hey Marcus from six months ago. It's me, future Marcus. You're currently sitting in the dark at 3:14 AM, the retina display of your phone burning a hole in your exhausted corneas because you tried to Google "best wooden baby...

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A confused dad holding up tiny rigid boys pants next to a squirming baby.

Why Miniature Denim is a Parenting Glitch You Need to Patch

My wife Sarah walked into the nursery, took one look at Leo, and sighed. I had him pinned to the changing table, sweating through my t-shirt, trying to secure a metallic snap on a pair of rigid, miniature denim trousers....

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Dad measuring sound machine volume next to baby crib

Decoding Infant Sleep Audio: My War With Sound Machines

It's 3 AM and I'm hovering over my eleven-month-old's crib with a free NIOSH decibel meter app glowing ominously on my phone, watching the needle spike into the red zone. My wife is standing in the doorway in her robe,...

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A brightly coloured plastic dog toy sitting next to scattered wooden baby blocks on a rug.

Why I Completely Surrendered to the Fisher-Price Baby Era

It's 4:17 in the morning, and my bare foot has just made solid, agonising contact with the Smart Stages Puppy in the dark hallway. Without warning, an aggressively cheerful, synthetic voice belts out, "I SEE YOU!" followed immediately by that...

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