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11-month-oldboundariesdigital footprintearly developmentfatherhoodinternet safety
A worried dad looking at his smartphone while his baby plays happily with a wooden toy on the floor.

Parenting In The Digital Age And The Terrifying Teen Timeline

My mom told me over FaceTime yesterday that the foolproof solution to internet safety is to simply hand my daughter a flip phone when she turns sixteen and strictly refuse to acknowledge the existence of wifi until she graduates college....

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A close-up of a baby's pacifier resting next to an unplugged keyboard on my very messy home office desk.

Decoding the chaos of a baby's pacifier without losing your mind

My mother-in-law cornered me by the diaper pail on day three of my son's life, waving a neon green chunk of silicone and declaring that if I didn't plug him up right now, he'd be a thumb-sucker until college. Twelve...

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A stressed dad testing the baby's bath temp with his elbow.

Surviving the High-Stakes Math of Your Baby's Bath Temp

I'm currently bent double over a plastic tub that looks suspiciously like an oversized Tupperware container, plunging my left elbow into lukewarm water while Twin A tries to ingest a highly questionable bath sponge. It's precisely 6:14 PM, a time...

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Dad sitting in a dimly lit nursery looking at a baby sleep in a crib

What I wish I knew about raising our baby with Down syndrome

Hey man. It’s Marcus. Or rather, it’s you, exactly six months in the future. I know exactly what you’re doing right now. You’re sitting in the blue glow of the humidifier at 3:17 AM, holding your phone six inches from...

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Stressed dad holding a crying baby while looking at a laptop screen

Parenting a Baby Wario: When Your Newborn is High-Needs

I'm standing in the dark hallway at 3:14 AM, bouncing on my heels at exactly 60 beats per minute, because any deviation in rhythm causes the 11-pound human in my arms to reboot into a full-scale meltdown. Outside, the Portland...

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11-month-oldbabybaby gearfatherhoodmilestonesmillennial dad
A confused toddler staring blankly at a wooden play gym and baby blankets

Why my timeline for a new baby sister is completely broken

I was staring at a plastic stick with two bright pink lines on our bathroom counter, right next to a half-chewed rice rusk that Leo, my 11-month-old, had abandoned to go fight the bath mat. My wife picked up the...

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Dad looking stressed at a laptop with baby shower decorations.

Debugging the Absolute Chaos of Modern Boy Baby Shower Themes

I was on row 47 of my Google Sheet, cross-referencing the hex codes of compostable napkins with three different artisanal bakery delivery zones, when my wife gently closed my laptop. It was a Saturday afternoon, roughly two months before our...

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11-month-oldbaby safetybaby teethingfatherhoodhumormillennial dad
A bewildered dad staring at his phone screen while holding a silicone baby teether

Why You Shouldn't Google Deep Throat Baby Lyrics

Dear Marcus of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the closed toilet lid at 3:14 AM, basking in the harsh fluorescent bathroom light, trying to decode a snippet of audio you just heard on some teenager's TikTok downstairs. You're...

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A dad holding two babies looking exhausted but happy

Freddie Gibbs Baby Mama Gossip vs. The Reality of Fatherhood

Before the twins arrived, I received three distinct pieces of advice about the impending transition to fatherhood. My postman, Terry, told me to sleep while I still could (it's physically impossible to bank sleep in advance, Terry, but thanks for...

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