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My In-Laws, A Drop-Side Crib, And The Great Grandparent Divide
It was 10:14 AM on a Tuesday, I was wearing a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk and desperation, and my mother-in-law had just proudly wheeled a vintage, splintering drop-side crib into my living room. I'm pretty sure...
The Truth About Baby Bliss (And Why It Doesn't Have a Power Cord)
The smell of singed nylon bathmat is something that stays with you. I was standing in my cramped Chicago bathroom, trying to salvage two hours of sleep with some under-eye concealer, when Kiran started doing his signature banshee wail from...
Why We Traded Stuffy Showers for the Modern Co-Ed Baby Bash
I'm sitting on a pastel-pink velvet chair in a suburban banquet hall watching my cousin unwrap her nineteenth burp cloth. Someone is measuring her waist with toilet paper while a group of aunts I haven't seen since my wedding stare...
What Is An Anchor Baby? Debugging A Toxic Immigration Myth
My 11-month-old son had just figured out how to forcefully eject his mashed peas across our kitchen island when my wife Mayaβs college roommate, Sofia, started quietly crying over her water glass. Sofia is six months pregnant. Her husband, Leo,...
The clinical and emotional reality of dead babies in our world
Before I had my own kid, I thought I understood how the worst-case scenario worked. I used to sit in the pediatric ICU breakroom at three in the morning, drinking lukewarm coffee out of a styrofoam cup, charting the vital...
Surviving Our Real Boss Baby and Who Actually Voices The Movie
My mom told me that if I didn't establish dominance on day one, the baby would rule our house forever. The barista down the street confidently informed me that I need to surrender to his flow and let the infant...
Finding A Sugar Dating Platform On My Niece's Phone Broke My Brain
There I was, elbow-deep in a laundry basket of spit-up stained onesies on my back porch, trying to untangle a rogue sock from my toddler's overalls while swatting away Texas mosquitoes. My nineteen-year-old niece was visiting from college and had...
Surviving The Boss Baby 2: A Parent's Deeply Unqualified Guide
Before we hit play on a Saturday afternoon, I received three entirely distinct pieces of advice about this film. My sister-in-law, who curates her childrenβs wooden toy collection by color, warned me it was corporate propaganda designed to rot the...
2AM Internet Spirals and the Tragic Baby Emmanuel Haro Case
It was exactly 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the freezing cold kitchen tiles in Dave's faded Penn State hoodie, aggressively scrolling my phone. Leo, my four-year-old, was finally, mercifully asleep after waking up screaming because...