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The 3 AM Blowout That Made Me Rethink Gerber Baby Clothes
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, the ambient temperature in the nursery was exactly 61.5 degrees, and I was staring at a structural failure of catastrophic proportions. The containment vessel had breached. My eleven-month-old son, who was supposed to...
Why Sustainable Kinder Kleidung Matters & How to Shop the Sale
It was 3 AM, and I was sitting on the floor of a nursery crying over a pair of newborn skinny jeans. My oldest sonβwho I swear was put on this earth purely to be my cautionary parenting taleβwas screaming...
My Humiliating History With Kids and the Bulky Knit Sweater
It was November 2019, and I was standing outside a Trader Joe's in the freezing rain, wearing yoga pants that definitely had day-old oat milk latte spilled down the thigh. I was trying to wedge my screaming eighteen-month-old, Leo, into...
What The Nepo Baby Trend Actually Means For Your Everyday Toddler
I was peeling the skin off a single green grape for my toddler when my sister-in-law texted me a screenshot of a celebrity magazine cover. My phone lit up on the kitchen counter while I carefully sliced the fruit into...
The Truth About Old Navy Baby Clothes and Toddler Mud
Don't, under any circumstances, dress two newly-mobile toddlers in matching cream linen rompers for a casual stroll through a damp London park in November. I did this exactly once, under the tragic, sleep-deprived delusion that I could maintain my pre-kids...
The Real Baby's Day Out Cast Needs a Lot More Than Movie Magic
My mother-in-law told me to just toss him in the grocery cart basket with a knitted blanket and call it a day. The teenage checkout clerk at HEB confidently informed me that babies shouldn't leave the house until they're at...
Why 90% of cute baby clothes are complete structural disasters
It was 3:14 AM, I had a small flashlight clamped between my teeth, and I was sweating profusely while trying to line up seven asymmetrical metal snaps on a pair of corduroy infant overalls. My son, Leo, who was three...
A Letter To Past Me About Baby Memes And Surviving Twin Girls
You're currently sitting on the closed lid of the downstairs loo at exactly 3:14 AM. The tiles are freezing against your bare feet, and you're hiding. I know this because I'm you, writing from six months in the future. Upstairs,...
A Letter to Myself on Debugging a Baby Boy's Winter Wardrobe
You're currently standing in the nursery at 2:14 AM, holding a laser thermometer and pointing it at the baseboards because the room is reading 69.8 degrees instead of your meticulously programmed 71.2 degrees. Your five-month-old son is asleep, but you're...