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The October 10th Retro Plushie Incident (And Other Dad Fails)
The postie arrived at exactly 10:14 am on a grim Tuesday morning, thrusting a slightly damp cardboard box into my hands with the weary expression of a man who knows my house receives entirely too many parcels. It was the...
Choosing a baby boy christening outfit that won't cause tears
Listen. The priest was mid-prayer when I saw the kid in the front pew start doing the neck-crane. You know the exact one. That desperate little turtle movement they do when a stiff collar is slowly restricting their airway. I've...
Why I Finally Ditched Tactical Gear for the Lark Baby Carrier
It was pouring rain in the Sainsburyβs car park, naturally. I was standing by the open boot of my estate, desperately trying to wrestle Twin A into a contraption that looked less like a parenting accessory and more like something...
Why john baby doll dixon won't help you buy a safe baby doll
My mother-in-law told me yesterday that Maya needed a doll immediately to develop her maternal instincts before she turns two. My pediatrician muttered something vaguely terrifying about the airway obstruction risks of cheap toy accessories. The woman next to me...
The Tomodachi Life Save Editor Panic: Hacking for Virtual Babies
It was exactly 6:43 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my kitchen wearing a target-brand fleece robe that has an unidentifiable crusty stain on the left pocket (yogurt? toothpaste? honestly I don't want to know), pouring my...
How Much to Actually Spend on a Baby Shower Gift (Without Going Broke)
I was standing in the middle of aisle 14 at Target, wearing these black Lululemons that had a very distinct, very suspicious bleach spot right on the left thigh, staring at my phone until my vision went blurry. It was...
How Many Babies Do Squirrels Have? A Garden Mystery
The incident began on a particularly damp Tuesday in our local park, right around the time I was wondering if it was socially acceptable to drink a lukewarm thermos of coffee at 9 a.m. Maya and Chloe had their faces...
Hitchhiker Baby Name 4pk: A 3 AM Naming Meltdown
It was 3:17 AM. I was wearing my husband's faded college sweatpants that had a mysterious, vaguely crusty yogurt stain on the left knee because doing laundry at seven months pregnant felt like an Olympic sport I had not trained...
When GFWYK Baby Mel Lyrics Crashed Our Nursery Smart Speaker
Dear Marcus of six months ago, You're currently standing in the center of the nursery at 2:14 AM. You have a screaming five-month-old tucked like a football under your left arm, and your right hand is frantically tracing the power...