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Sleep deprived father holding a teething toy and staring at his phone in shock

The "Babi Chula Porn" Typo: A Warning to Sleep-Deprived Parents

Dear Tom from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the nursery rocking chair at 3:14 am, bathed in the harsh blue light of your smartphone while Twin A attempts to extract your left incisor with her surprisingly sharp...

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A stylish diaper bag hanging on a stroller with a monkey keychain attached

The Truth About That Cute Baby Milo Keychain (And My Mom Guilt)

It was a random Tuesday in October, like, 2018 maybe? Maya was about seven months old, and we were sitting outside this aggressively hip coffee shop in Brooklynβ€”the kind where a basic iced oat milk latte costs seven dollars and...

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Exhausted mom in hospital bed staring at newborn baby yawning

So, Can Your Newborn Really Be Born With Teeth? (My Freakout)

The biggest, most universally accepted myth about giving birth is that you're going to be handed this perfect, squishy, entirely gummy little blob of a human. I fully believed this. I thought I had at least six solid months of...

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A dad overanalyzing the exact thickness of a vegetable spear for his baby

The Cucumber Protocol: From Slippery Hazards to Teething Hacks

It's 6:15 AM in our Portland kitchen, and I'm staring at a cutting board with a digital caliper in my hand. My wife, Sarah, is pouring her coffee, watching me measure a wet green vegetable down to the millimeter. "It...

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Golden spaniel puppy chewing on a toy next to twin toddler girls.

When Do Dogs Lose Their Baby Teeth? A Twin Dad's Survival Guide

I stepped on it barefoot at exactly six in the morning. It was sharp, cold, and entirely unyielding, which naturally led me to assume I had discovered yet another rogue piece of plastic from the twins' supposedly tidied toy box....

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Messy living room with a glowing fish tank, cold coffee cup, and baby toys scattered on the floor.

What I Wish I Knew Before Googling Dwarf Baby Tears

Dear Sarah of November 14th, currently sitting on the cold bathroom tile at 3:17 AM in yesterday's yogurt-stained Lululemon leggings. You have your phone in one hand and a screaming four-month-old Leo in the other, and you're desperately typing things...

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Exhausted mother holding her crying baby while looking at her phone in a dark nursery

Dear Past Me: The Messy Truth About Having a Lip Tie Baby

Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting on the undersized, aggressively cheerful yellow chair in Dr. Vance’s pediatric dental waiting room. It’s a Tuesday. You're wearing those black leggings that have a hole near the left knee,...

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Twin babies fighting over a wooden play gym on a messy living room rug

Expectation vs Reality: Montessori Toys for Nine Month Old Twins

There I was, at 6:42 am on a Tuesday, trying to fish a soggy, half-dissolved piece of Amazon packaging out of Maya's mouth while her sister, Chloe, methodically used a Β£45 plastic, battery-powered farm animal as a blunt instrument to...

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Toddler wearing an organic cotton triangle neckerchief while playing outdoors

The Messy Reality of Children's Neckerchiefs

My mother-in-law stood in my Chicago kitchen last November holding a knitted wool scarf, insisting that if I didn't wrap my son's neck immediately, the draft would settle in his chest and give him pneumonia. Three hours later, a woman...

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