Why newborn babies come out covered in slippery cream cheese
The lights in the surgical theatre were violently bright, the machines were beeping in a rhythm that did absolutely nothing for my blood pressure, and I had been awake for approximately thirty-six hours. My wife was hidden behind a sterile...
The "i just a baby" phase ruined my pediatric nursing degree
I'm staring at the digital clock on my breast pump. It's 3:14 AM in my freezing Chicago apartment, the wind off Lake Michigan is rattling the windowpanes, and I can't remember what a let-down reflex is. Four years of nursing...
How to Soothe Colic Baby Tears Without Losing Your Damn Mind
I was standing in my kitchen at 8:14 PM on a Tuesday, wearing gray maternity leggings that I had worn for literally four days straight because pulling real pants up over my postpartum belly felt like a personal attack. Maya...
How To Actually Hold A Newborn Without Freaking Out
I'm currently sitting on the peeling linoleum floor of my laundry room, staring at a mountain of spit-up stained onesies, writing this on the back of a wrinkled Target receipt because if I don't get these thoughts out of my...
When Does the Newborn Phase Actually End? A Dad's Late-Night Dive
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was holding a grunting, scrunching potato in the glow of my smartphone while the Portland rain hammered against the nursery window. We were exactly 32 days into this whole parenthood experiment....
How Long Does Baby Acne Last? (And Why You Shouldn't Panic)
I was standing in line at my local coffee shop, wearing these black maternity leggings that I had fully sworn to myself I'd burn the second I gave birth, but here we were, three weeks postpartum, and they were the...
How Does Preeclampsia Affect the Baby? My NICU Story
It's 2:14 PM on a Tuesday and I'm wearing these absolutely hideous mustard-colored maternity leggings that I bought on clearance at Target, sweating through my third cup of lukewarm decaf. I'm sitting on that terrible crinkly paper of the exam...
Let's Talk About How Do Babies Get Thrush (And How To Fix It)
My mother-in-law told me on the phone that it was because my breast pump parts were dirty. My lactation consultant heavily implied it was because I ate a brownie the day beforeβsugar feeds yeast, apparently, which is just incredibly unfair....
Exactly When Does Baby Acne Go Away? A Tired Parent's Guide
I was sitting cross-legged on our hideous beige living room rug at 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, wearing maternity sweatpants that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine since my water broke. Leo was exactly three weeks old and...