Hudson Baby Bourbon: The Nursery Mixup and Parenting Nightcaps
Listen. Don't show up to my cousin's baby shower in Naperville with a bottle of 92-proof craft whiskey just because you typed the registry name into your phone too fast. I've seen a thousand wild things during my shifts on...
How Long Can A Baby Sleep In A Bassinet Before You Lose It
Dear Sarah from exactly four years and six months ago, It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. You're wearing Daveβs stained college lacrosse t-shirt, the one with the hole near the left armpit, and you've literally been staring at Leo for...
A Note From The Future About That October 6 Beanie Baby Idea
Dear Marcus from six months ago, you're currently hovering your cursor over the "Buy It Now" button on eBay at 2:14 AM while your five-month-old is finally asleep after what felt like a system-wide hardware failure. You've just discovered that...
Why I Learned Trap Music Guitar Chords for a Crying Infant at 3 AM
Dear Marcus from six months ago, It's currently 3:14 AM, the relentless Portland rain is hammering against the nursery window, and you're standing in the middle of the room wearing boxer briefs, holding your dusty acoustic guitar like it's a...
Why Buying Lil Baby Concert Tickets For a Baby is a Bad Idea
It was 9:15 PM in section 204 of the arena. My phone was open to a decibel-reading app I had downloaded in a panic in the parking lot, and the screen was just flashing the word "DANGEROUS" in bright red...
Lactose Free Formula For Babies: A Dad's Guide To Gut Bugs
It's 3:14 AM. I'm standing in our Portland kitchen, bathed in the harsh blue light of the microwave clock, frantically whisking a brand-new can of soy powder into a bottle while my 11-month-old screams like a dial-up modem connecting to...
Dear Past Me: That TikTok issa_hay_baby_ Account Isn't Real
Itβs exactly 3:14 AM right now in your timeline, and you're sitting on the edge of the glider while the baby does that weird pterodactyl screech that means his sleep cycle is resetting. Your face is bathed in the cold...
What Is A Tornado Baby Medical Truth I Wish I Knew
You're sitting in the windowless interior hallway of our Chicago apartment right now, sweating through a t-shirt while the sirens blare outside. The dog is pacing, the power is flickering, and you're frantically scrolling through your phone trying to figure...
When Do Babies Discover Their Feet: A Letter to My Anxious Self
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're sitting on the nursery rug at 3 AM. The glow of the humidifier is casting weird shadows on the wall, and your kid is lying flat on his back, staring at the ceiling...