Magazine

A confused father staring at a cardboard box in a messy London kitchen

Finding a Baby Pigeon: A Very Stressed Dad's Guide to Bird Rescue

It was a Tuesday afternoon, raining with that specific type of London spite that bypasses your waterproofs entirely, when Maya marched into the kitchen holding what appeared to be a damp, breathing loofah. She dumped it unceremoniously next to the...

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Twin baby reaching for a wooden hanging toy while lying on an organic cotton playmat.

The absolute madness of tracking baby milestones in year one

I'm staring at a colour-coded spreadsheet at 2:14 in the morning while one of my daughters attempts to eat a rogue piece of lint she found in the folds of my pyjama top. The spreadsheet is titled 'Infant Progress Tracker'...

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A disassembled plastic doll sitting next to a damp cloth and forceps

The surgical reality of buying a baby alive doll for your kid

It's eleven at night. The lighting in my guest bathroom is deeply unflattering. I'm holding a pair of stainless steel tweezers in my right hand and my phone flashlight in my left. Pinned firmly beneath my elbow is a rigid...

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Tired dad sitting on floor holding a flashing plastic toy and a simple wooden ring

Surviving the great baby toy invasion without losing your mind

My mother-in-law arrived on a Tuesday afternoon with a battery-operated plastic farmyard that screamed distorted animal noises at 120 decibels, proudly declaring it highly educational for the twins. The very next day, my heavily bearded friend who lives in Hackney...

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A glowing baby einstein sea dreams soother attached to a wooden crib

My toxic relationship with that glowing Baby Einstein aquarium

It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November. I'm standing barefoot in the hallway, wearing a stained nursing tank that I still haven't washed even though my son Leo is three and Maya is eight months old, and I'm practically...

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A disassembled toy doll next to a sink full of soapy water and a scrub brush

The ugly truth about that baby alive doll hiding in your playroom

I'm standing over my kitchen sink at eleven at night with a pair of surgical tweezers, trying to extract a solid black clump of fermented synthetic cherry mush from the plastic esophagus of a toy. This is not how I...

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A frustrated mother holding a wooden teether while her toddler watches a screen

Surviving the baby shark song without losing your entire mind

Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting in the pediatric ICU breakroom, eating a stale protein bar, pregnant, smug, and swearing your future child will only listen to classical music and ambient nature sounds. I need you to...

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Baby in organic cotton sleeping peacefully while listening to vintage music

Why Those Vintage Pretty Little Baby Lyrics Actually Work

It's currently 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, I've exactly three minutes to move laundry from the washer to the dryer before my youngest wakes up from her nap, and my oldest is somewhere in the living room pressing a button...

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A hyper-realistic reborn baby doll sitting in a wooden play gym.

The Truth About Reborn Baby Dolls (And Why I Bought One)

I was standing in my kitchen at 7 AM, wearing yoga pants with a mysterious white stain on the knee, aggressively stirring my third coffee of the morning, when I casually mentioned to my mother-in-law that I was thinking about...

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