Tina Fey Lied to Me: Why Hollywood Baby Tropes Belong in the Bin
It's 3:14 AM. I'm wedged into the corner of our IKEA sofa in an unnatural, spine-twisting posture because moving even a fraction of an inch will wake Twin A, who's currently drooling a warm puddle onto my collarbone. On my...
When A Therapy App And A Literal Baby Manatee Saved My Sanity
It was 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my kitchen wearing my husband's ancient Boston College hoodie. The one that has a crusty, mysterious stain on the left cuff that could be hummus, could be dried...
My Kid is Obsessed with Chiquita Baby Monster and I Am Tired
It was 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, which in my house is basically the witching hour but with more aggressive demands for waffles. I was standing in the kitchen wearing a robe that distinctly smelled like old milk and failure,...
Jimmy Butler Baby Mama Drama: The Real Parenting Lessons
The biggest myth about rich people having kids is that their problems are completely foreign to us regular, exhausted moms wiping sweet potato off the ceiling. I totally bought into that fake reality until my group chat blew up about...
Lil Baby My Turn: Surviving The 3 AM Parenting Night Shift
I'm standing in our kitchen at 2:13 AM, bathed in the sickly yellow glow of the microwave clock, staring at a slightly damp muslin cloth while holding a bottle that's somehow simultaneously burning hot on the outside and completely freezing...
The Morgan Wallen Baby Mama Drama And Real Co-Parenting Truths
Listen, the biggest lie the internet feeds us is that separated parents magically morph into these enlightened beings who cheerfully hand off a toddler over matcha lattes on a Sunday morning. I've worked enough pediatric triage shifts to know the...
Getting rid of oral thrush without losing your mind
It's three in the morning in Chicago. You're holding your phone flashlight in your mouth, trying to pry your screaming infant's lips apart in the dark. You see a thick white coating all over their tongue. You immediately assume the...
A letter to myself about the baby maverick internet obsession
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're sitting in the dark right now with the glow of your phone lighting up the nursery wall. Your baby is asleep in the crib, breathing perfectly fine, but you're wide awake. The algorithm...