The Absolute Chaos of Raising Twins and a Baby German Shepherd
I'm currently watching a forty-pound creature with ears the size of satellite dishes attempt to herd my two-year-old daughters into the downstairs loo. The creature, a dog who seems entirely unaware that he's not currently employed on a farm in...
Note to past Tom: Getting the baby brezza sterilizer sorted
Dear Tom of six months ago, It's currently 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I know exactly what you're doing. You're standing in the kitchen in your oversized grey joggers, staring bleary-eyed into a rolling boil of tap water on...
Why a 1980s baby boom cast makes more sense than modern apps
My mum casually mentioned last Tuesday that if I didn't start putting a pulverized rusk into the twins' nighttime milk, they would never sleep past 4 am and I'd be looking at stunted growth by their third birthday. The bloke...
How to Find Free Baby Samples Without Losing Your Damn Mind
I was sitting on my living room couch at 2:14 AM wearing a pair of Dave's gym shorts that I had stretched to their absolute physical limit over my seven-month pregnant belly, staring at my phone as my inbox counter...
Why a Real Babys Day Out Requires a Massive Deployment Pipeline
I was standing by the open door of my Honda Civic, sweating through a flannel shirt in 60-degree Portland weather, holding a diaper bag that weighed roughly the same as a car battery. My 11-month-old son was strapped into his...
Surviving the drama of your baby's first christmas ornament
I was sitting on the floor of our freezing Chicago apartment with a vacuum in one hand and a bleeding thumb in the other. My mother-in-law had just left. Her gift had lasted exactly four seconds out of the tissue...
Miss Nikki Baby, Rainbow Babies, and Tuning Out the Internet Noise
I spent the entirety of my second pregnancy locked in the downstairs half-bath, doom-scrolling baby forums until my legs fell asleep and my phone battery hit two percent. I was convinced every tiny twinge was a catastrophe, and I was...
3 AM Teething Panics And The Nikki Baby Google Search Spiral
At 3:17 AM on a Tuesday, I'm standing in the middle of the nursery holding a glowing infrared forehead thermometer like a phaser set to stun. My 11-month-old is thrashing around in his crib like a fish on a dock,...
The 2 AM Regalo Baby Gate Crisis That Finally Broke My Spirit
It's exactly 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm sitting on the top landing of our painfully narrow London terrace in just my boxer shorts, holding a spirit level in one hand and a metal tension rod in the other....