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The longsleeve baby survival guide from a tired triage nurse
July in Chicago is a specific kind of miserable. The window unit in our living room sounds like a dying tractor, fighting a losing battle against the humidity. My daughter is asleep on a playmat in just a diaper, looking...
Babyhose Mit Breitem Bund: Why Tiny Jeans Are A Terrible Idea
I'm staring at a pair of baby jeans. They have real copper rivets. A functional metal zipper. And a waistband that looks like it was designed for a heavily corseted Victorian doll, not a three-month-old who drinks liquid fat every...
The Great Wool Disaster: Surviving a Ridiculous Baby Knit Set
The clock on the microwave said 3:14 AM, and the smell hit me before I even reached the landing. It was that distinct, metallic, sweet-yet-horrific scent of a total nappy failure. In the cot, Matilda was standing up, gripping the...
The Ridiculous Truth About Organic Cotton Socks for Tiny Feet
My left arm is currently wedged shoulder-deep inside the rubber gasket of our Bosch washing machine, fishing for a piece of fabric the size of a tea bag. Maya is howling from the nursery because her left foot is cold,...
The Great Onesie Lie and Why Newborn Long Sleeve T Shirts Win
I'm standing in the nursery, it's like 3:14 AM, I'm wearing a nursing bra that smells vaguely of sour milk and Dave's oversized college sweatpants, and I'm practically in tears over three tiny metal crotch snaps. Before you've a baby,...
The 3 AM Panic That Forced Us Into the Sleeping Bag Baby Phase
It was 2:14 AM and my oldest son, Beauβwho's now four and continues to be my living, breathing cautionary tale for literally everythingβwas screaming. Not his usual "I lost my pacifier" sleep-grunt. The kind of panicked scream that makes your...
What I Wish I Knew About Knit Rompers Before Baby Number Three
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently standing in the middle of Target, eight months pregnant with your third baby, holding a mustard yellow acrylic one-piece and crying into your iced coffee. Your ankles are swollen to the size...
Why japan kidswear completely ruined me for normal baby clothes
When I was pregnant with Leo, I made the mistake of crowdsourcing clothing advice. My mother-in-law cornered me in a Target aisle to aggressively whisper that I should exclusively buy 12-month sizes for my unborn infant and just roll the...
The Reality of Putting Your Baby in Old Hand-Me-Downs
My mother handed me a cardboard box that smelled distinctly of mothballs and aggressive potpourri right after my twenty-week ultrasound. We were sitting at her kitchen table in the suburbs. She pushed the box across the laminate counter with the...