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The pretty baby brooke shields documentary totally broke my brain
It was 11:43 PM on a random Tuesday, and I was sitting on the couch in my husband Mike's college sweatpantsβthe ones with the highly questionable bleach stain on the kneeβeating slightly stale goldfish crackers directly off Maya's Elsa plate....
Letter to Past Me: That Sorry Baby Movie Is Definitely Not A Comedy
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the faded living room rug in your yoga pants, elbow-deep in a mountain of mismatched toddler socks, staring blindly at the streaming menu. Your oldest is trying to feed his...
Why The Modern Baby-Sitters Club Reboot Is Actually Good
Sitting on my sofa last weekend, I made a critical error in judgment. I queued up the baby-sitters club 1995 movie for my ten-year-old niece, Maya, expecting a beautiful bonding moment over vintage denim and childhood innocence. Don't do this....
A Tech Dad's Guide to Baby Music and Debugging the Mozart Myth
It's 3:14 AM, and my Apple Watch is actively warning me that the ambient noise in our nursery has breached 85 decibels. Baby M is mid-meltdown, his face the exact color of a system-critical error screen, while I frantically swipe...
Why the Three Men and a Baby Cast Lied to Us About Fatherhood
It was 3:14 AM, my 11-month-old son was attached to a bottle, and the glowing screen of my iPad was illuminating my deeply exhausted face. I was watching an 80s comedy classic to stay awake, watching Tom Selleck hold a...
Uncle Baby Billy: How my toddler found HBO at 3am
It's precisely 3:14 in the morning, a time I'm intimately familiar with because it's the exact hour the ambient temperature in our London flat drops just enough to offend my twin daughters. Florence is currently wedged sideways across my chest,...
The Accidental Winnie the Pooh Baby Shower Guide for Anxious Dads
Dear Tom from six months ago. You're currently hiding in the downstairs loo. I know this because I'm you, and I remember the exact texture of the bathmat you're presently sitting on while trying to escape the chaos of your...
When The Grandparents Bring Over Their 1980s Death Trap Baby Gear
I was wearing my husbandβs stained grey sweatpants, the ones with the mysterious hole near the left knee, standing in my driveway at 10 AM on a Tuesday while clutching a mug of coffee I had already microwaved three times....
Why I Finally Caved and Bought a Baby DJ Table for the Twins
It's 5:42 AM. Rain is hammering against the single-glazed window of our London flat, and Maya has just discovered the 'drop' button. Chloe, entirely unfazed by the sudden burst of electronic reggaeton, is rhythmically gumming the edge of the plastic...