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Bringing Your Newborn Home Without Losing Your Mind
I was wedged between a breast pump box and a diaper bag in the back of my husband's F-150, clutching the plastic handle of the infant carrier like we were off-roading, even though he was driving twelve miles an hour...
Surviving Backyard Baby Chicks When You Already Have A Toddler
We were standing in the middle of a farm supply store somewhere in the Illinois suburbs when my husband decided we needed to teach our two-year-old about food sustainability. He was holding a cardboard box that vibrated with high-pitched chirps,...
Why I Totally Regret Boycotting the Baby Changing Table Setup
It's 4:12 AM. Maya is exactly four weeks old, and I'm on my knees on a faux-flokati rug from Target that I previously thought was, like, incredibly chic. Mustard-yellow newborn poop is currently seeping into the synthetic fibers while I...
What On Earth Is A Baby Booter? Decoding Weird Parenting Slang
I was standing in my kitchen at 6 AM, wearing yesterday's yoga pants and one of Dave's oversized college t-shirts that has a mysterious bleach stain on the hem, holding a lukewarm mug of coffee. I was just staring blankly...
Surviving the Grandparent Clash During Your Own Baby Boom
The greatest myth they sell you at the antenatal classes (right after the lie that youβll ever sleep for more than forty consecutive minutes again) is that grandparents are the ultimate, harmonious village. They picture a serene handover of generational...
Surviving The 3 AM Pacing Routine With A New Baby Bjorn Carrier
I'm swaying in front of the microwave. The glowing green clock says 3:14 AM, and I'm currently wearing my husband Dave's stained college fraternity t-shirt, which smells faintly of old milk and desperation. Leo is exactly three weeks old, and...
The brutal truth about making baby back ribs in oven setups with a ...
There's a persistent delusion in modern parenting that you either cook elaborate organic meals while baby-wearing, or you survive entirely on leftover goldfish crackers and despair. The internet wants you to believe that making proper barbecue requires a custom outdoor...
The Great Baby Sleep Sack Delusion (And What Actually Works)
Before the twins arrived, my wife and I spent an embarrassing amount of time folding beautifully crocheted, pastel-coloured blankets over the edge of their cots. I had this distinct, cinematic vision of fatherhood where I'd gently tuck a cellular quilt...
Sada Baby? More Like Sad Baby: How To Survive The Newborn Phase
It's 3:17 AM. My living room smells like a combination of sour milk, stale coffee, and pure, unfiltered desperation. I'm wearing Matt's old college sweatpants with a mysterious bleach stain on the knee, and I'm holding a four-week-old Leo who's...