Magazine
Why Parents Are Panicking Over the Silksong Baby Hornet
I was elbow-deep in pureed peas when my teenage nephew casually dropped the bomb. He was staring at his phone, completely oblivious to the domestic chaos unfolding around him, and muttered something about a silksong baby hornet dropping soon. My...
Troubleshooting the Invisible: Infant Silent Reflux
My mother-in-law confidently informed me that his sudden back-arching meant he was an advanced genius trying to roll over early. The barista at our neighborhood Portland roastery swore the fussiness was just a dairy sensitivity and literally slid a pamphlet...
Signs of alcohol in breastfed baby: A dad's late-night diary
The sound of a cork leaving a bottle of moderately priced Pinot Grigio at 7:14 PM on a rainy Tuesday in Islington should be a joyous occasion. For my wife, Sarah, it was the first glass of wine she had...
Dear Past Me: Please Put Down the Shrek Baby Costume and Walk Away
Dear Priya from exactly six months ago. You're currently standing in the seasonal aisle at Target. You haven't slept in three days. You're holding a deeply flammable polyester green ogre costume and furiously Googling if infants can watch early 2000s...
She Told My Baby We Danced Till Three: The 3 AM Sleep Guide
The most dangerous lie they tell you before you leave the hospital isn't about feeding schedules or umbilical cord careβit's the terrifying assumption that when a baby gets tired, they'll simply close their eyes and power down. Total fiction. When...
How the Seiko Baby Alpinist Survived My First Year of Fatherhood
My left wrist vibrated with a Slack notification from my engineering manager right at the exact moment my son sneezed a mouthful of mashed sweet potato across my chest. It was a Tuesday, roughly 6:14 AM. I was wearing my...
Dear past me: Surviving the great scrap baby incident of October
Dear Sarah from six months ago, Itβs Tuesday, right? Youβre sitting on the hot driveway asphalt wearing that oversized gray NYU hoodie with the mysterious yellow stain on the left cuff that might be mustard but is honestly probably breastmilk...
That Santa Baby Kim Kardashian Video vs Our Real Holiday Chaos
I was standing dead in the center of my mother-in-law's aggressively pine-scented living room in December 2017, wearing a pair of black maternity leggings that still had a crusty white streak of spit-up down the left thigh, clutching a mug...
Note to self on surviving the toddler sprint phase without crying
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently standing in the produce aisle at the Mariano's on Western Avenue. Your fourteen-month-old just dropped your hand. He is making a break for the automatic doors. You thought this was a phase...