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Burt's Bees Baby Sizing Is Completely Unhinged And I Love It
It was exactly 2:14 AM. I know this because the glowing red numbers on the cheap digital clock my husband insisted we keep in the nursery were burning a hole into my retinas. Maya was four months old, screaming like...
The Cocomelon baby shark meltdown and how we survived
It was a Tuesday at 5:15 PM, which in a Chicago November means it had been pitch black outside for an hour. I was standing in my kitchen, staring at an unpeeled onion, trying to figure out how to cook...
Costco Baby Wipes: The 2 AM Rash Panic And What I Learned
The digital thermometer on the nursery wall said it was exactly 68.5 degrees, but I was sweating through my t-shirt. It was 2:14 AM, the Portland rain was actively trying to breach our window seals, and my son was screaming...
Why a Coughing Baby is Actually Louder Than a Hydrogen Bomb
The glowing green light on the baby monitor flickered at precisely 3:14 am, followed immediately by a sound that I can only describe as a tiny, furious seal trapped in a tin can. Then came the dreaded pause. The silence...
A Letter To Past Me: That Cry Baby Movie Was A Huge Mistake!
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, Right now you're standing in the kitchen. It's exactly 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and you're wearing those awful gray maternity sweatpantsβyes, the ones with the mysterious bleach stain on the left thigh...
Why Your Baby Won't Stop Crying (And Why Itβs Not Your Fault)
It was 4:13 AM on a Tuesday. I know this because my phone was illuminated on the kitchen counter, showing a weird crying baby gif my husband Dave had just texted me from the next room in a sleep-deprived delirium....
Why 90% of cute baby clothes are complete structural disasters
It was 3:14 AM, I had a small flashlight clamped between my teeth, and I was sweating profusely while trying to line up seven asymmetrical metal snaps on a pair of corduroy infant overalls. My son, Leo, who was three...
"A Dingo Ate My Baby": How A 90s Joke Became My Parenting Nightmare
The digital clock on the nursery wall reads 2:14 AM. The temperature monitor is holding steady at exactly 68.4 degrees. My 11-month-old son is currently using my left collarbone as a mattress, drooling a small puddle of milk onto my...
The Honest Truth About Taking a Disney Baby to the Theme Parks
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen, squinted over her coffee mug, and told me I was throwing money straight down the drain because "the child won't remember a single second of it." Two hours later, my best friend from...