Lil Baby The Leaks: Stop Diaper Blowouts (Not The Rap Album)
"Just put a rubber band around the waist," my grandmother told me over the phone while I was standing completely frozen in my living room, knee-deep in something that looked exactly like stadium mustard. "Or switch to that expensive bamboo...
Justin Bieberβs Go Baby Lyrics Secretly Nailed Postpartum Life
There's this massive, steaming lie we all just collectively buy into with pop culture and parenthood. We assume that pop stars writing songs about devotion and holding someone through the night are just penning romantic fluff from inside an air-conditioned...
Why The Gossip About Jayson Tatum's Family Misses The Real Point
It's 6:13 AM, and I'm currently using a damp wipe to scrape what I desperately hope is mashed banana off my left kneecap while scrolling through basketball gossip on my phone. One of the twins has decided that 6 AM...
My 3 AM Deep Dive Into the Island Boy Baby TikTok Drama
My phone brightness was turned down to one percent, but it still felt like staring into the sun. It was 3:17 AM. My 11-month-old son was asleep on my chest, entirely dead weight, snoring faintly with his mouth hanging open....
The Unfiltered Truth About Picking Authentic Celtic Baby Names
I was sitting in the cracked vinyl chair at Dr. Miller's office last Tuesday, bouncing a fussy ten-month-old on my hip, when the triage nurse popped her head out the door and yelled, "See-oh-bann? Is there a See-oh-bann?" A poor,...
UPPAbaby Cruz V2: What I Wish I Knew Before The Registry Panic
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting at the kitchen island at 2 AM. Dave is snoring upstairsβa sound that's somehow migrating through the floorboardsβand you're wearing those hideous grey sweatpants with the bleach stain on the...
Raising a Modern Indian Baby Without Losing Your Absolute Mind
I was elbow-deep in a pile of spit-up-stained laundry when my sister-in-law Priya FaceTimed me in absolute tears, holding a yellow tape measure up to a massive, heavily carved wooden cradle her mother-in-law had just shipped all the way from...
Confessions of dressing my toddler in the teenage dirtbag trend
2:14 AM. The bedroom smells faintly of sour milk and desperation. The Wheatus audio loops on my screen for the forty-seventh time. I watch another exhausted mother transition from a photo of her wearing studded belts and smeared black eyeliner...
Why newborn babies come out covered in slippery cream cheese
The lights in the surgical theatre were violently bright, the machines were beeping in a rhythm that did absolutely nothing for my blood pressure, and I had been awake for approximately thirty-six hours. My wife was hidden behind a sterile...