How Innocent Baby Searches Become Complete Digital Nightmares
Listen. I was standing in my kitchen wearing sweatpants with a suspicious stain on the knee, desperately trying to mash an avocado while a small human shrieked at my ankles. You know the exact kind of screaming I'm talking about....
Why Sugar Baby Websites Are a Parent's Literal Worst Nightmare
Don't, under any circumstances, attempt to buy refined-sugar-free snacks at three in the morning while holding a teething toddler by typing vaguely health-conscious search terms into your smartphone. It's twenty past three in the morning, and I'm actively failing at...
The Unvarnished Truth About Your Infant's Shifting Eye Colour
Dear Tom from eighteen months ago. You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery at three in the morning, holding an iPhone torch uncomfortably close to Maya's face to see if her irises have developed any gold flecks, while...
Who Is The Baby In Fantastic Four? A Sleep-Deprived Investigation
When our twin girls finally arrived, the influx of advice was swift, unyielding, and entirely contradictory. My mother-in-law insisted I keep them perpetually encased in heavy wool lest they catch a phantom draft in our predictably stuffy London flat. The...
Alexa, Stop: Navigating The Yes Baby Madison Beer Lyrics Trap
Dear Jess from last October. I know you're currently up to your elbows in mismatched socks, feeling pretty smug because the kids are actually playing quietly in the den for once. You think you've got this whole mothering-three-kids-under-five thing figured...
Why We Chose Southern Baby Girl Names for London Twins
Picture the exact opposite of a sun-drenched veranda in Savannah. It's 3:47 in the morning at a central London hospital. Outside, the rain is aggressively lashing against the window in that distinctly British, soul-destroying way that makes you question why...
That Time Sir Mix-A-Lot Baby Got Back Literally Saved My Sanity
It was exactly 3:14 AM. I know this because the glowing red numbers on the digital clock were searing themselves into my retinas while I bounced on a deflated blue yoga ball so violently my teeth were literally rattling in...
Signs of alcohol in breastfed baby: A dad's late-night diary
The sound of a cork leaving a bottle of moderately priced Pinot Grigio at 7:14 PM on a rainy Tuesday in Islington should be a joyous occasion. For my wife, Sarah, it was the first glass of wine she had...
How the Seiko Baby Alpinist Survived My First Year of Fatherhood
My left wrist vibrated with a Slack notification from my engineering manager right at the exact moment my son sneezed a mouthful of mashed sweet potato across my chest. It was a Tuesday, roughly 6:14 AM. I was wearing my...