Magazine

Exhausted mom scrolling a baby meme on her phone in the dark

The midnight baby meme: surviving internet chaos and newborn life

Listen. The absolute worst thing you can do at 2:42 AM when your infant is staring at the ceiling like they owe it money is open a sleep training forum. I used to do this. I'd sit in the dark,...

Read more

Marcus holding his 11-month-old baby while looking at a laptop screen in a dark room

Why the Pretty Baby Movie Documentary Broke My Dad Brain

It was 3:14 AM, the Portland rain was actively trying to dissolve our roof, and my 11-month-old daughter was using my sternum as a memory foam mattress. I had my phone brightness dialed down to absolute zero, squinting through the...

Read more

Exhausted mom holding a baby in a dark room watching a micro-drama on her phone

Midnight Feeds & Why Surprise Baby Daddy is the CEO Saved Me

It was 3:14 AM. I know this because I had checked the clock on the microwave four times in the last hour. I was wearing my husband Dave's gray sweatpantsβ€”the ones with the mysterious bleach stain on the left kneeβ€”and...

Read more

Tired mom standing in a messy kitchen at night looking at a baby heating machine.

Dear Past Me: The baby brezza bottle warmer Survival Guide

Dear Sarah of six months ago, It’s 3:14 AM. You’re standing barefoot on the freezing faux-terracotta tiles in the kitchen, wearing Dave’s oversized college hoodie that has a suspicious yogurt stain on the pocket, and you're staring at a plastic...

Read more

Tired mom in messy bun sitting in a dim nursery holding a squirming newborn

The Late Night Truth About Your Grunting Newborn (And Why I Panicked)

It was exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in mid-November, and I was wearing my husband’s gray college sweatpantsβ€”the ones with the permanent, unidentifiable spit-up stain on the left knee that I absolutely refused to wash because doing laundry felt...

Read more

A father staring bleary-eyed at a glowing baby monitor screen in a dark room.

The truth about the best baby monitors (and what actually works)

At 2:14 am on a Tuesday, I was staring at a glowing five-inch screen, utterly convinced my daughter had been replaced by a Victorian ghost. The night vision on our heavily marketed, terrifyingly expensive smart camera had turned my two-year-old...

Read more

A sleep-deprived dad holding a glowing thermometer and looking confused at his smartphone screen in the dark.

3 AM Teething Panics And The Nikki Baby Google Search Spiral

At 3:17 AM on a Tuesday, I'm standing in the middle of the nursery holding a glowing infrared forehead thermometer like a phaser set to stun. My 11-month-old is thrashing around in his crib like a fish on a dock,...

Read more

A father looking at his glowing smartphone in a dark nursery while holding a sleeping infant.

What a Baby Flamingo Taught Me About the 50/50 Parenting Split

The digital meat thermometer flashed 98.6 degrees, which meant the bottle of pumped breastmilk I was holding was exactly best for human consumption. It was 3:17 AM on a Tuesday, the Portland rain was actively trying to dissolve our bedroom...

Read more

Tired mom making a baby bottle in a dark kitchen at night

The Truth About The Baby Breeza (And Why I Panicked)

"If you don't buy it, you're going to literally get a divorce," my sister-in-law announced over her lukewarm latte, dead serious, staring me right in the eyes. "You know those machines harbor invisible mold that will destroy her gut flora,"...

Read more