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When Do Babies Teeth? An Honest Timeline For Exhausted Parents
I was standing in the checkout line at Trader Joe's in 2019, balancing a frozen pizza on my hip because I didn't grab a cart, when the contradictory advice started. Maya was about five months old, wearing a mustard yellow...
The Messy Truth About When Your Baby Finally Learns to Sit Up
I was sitting on the cold linoleum floor of a slightly damp church basement wearing yoga pants that hadnβt seen a yoga studio since Obama was in office, staring at a six-month-old named... Brayden? Jayden? Let's go with Jayden. Jayden...
The Kewpie Baby Obsession: A Letter to My Sleep-Deprived Self
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. Yeah, you. The one currently standing in aisle four of the Sleepy Hollow Antique Mall, wearing those black maternity leggings that have literally lost all their elasticity, clutching your third lukewarm coffee of...
Do Babies Have Kneecaps? Surviving the Kitchen Tile Crawling Era
The sound of a two-foot-tall human slamming knee-first into Victorian ceramic tile is a noise that bypasses the eardrum and registers directly in the parent's soul. It's a wet, hollow thud that makes you instantly calculate the distance to the...
Searching Reddit for a Baby Walking Game at 2 AM Was a Mistake
Itβs 2:14 AM. I'm wearing my husbandβs horrific faded college track sweatpantsβthe ones with the inexplicable bleach stain on the left kneeβand I'm hunched over my phone in the dark, furiously refreshing a forum thread. I'm holding a mug of...
Dear Past Me: Why Finding Your Baby Gang Is Actually Survival
Tuesday. 9:14 AM. You're sitting in the driver's seat of the Subaru outside Target, right? You're wearing the black Lululemons that have that weird, crusty yogurt stain on the left thigh because Leo decided to wipe his face on you...
What A 3 AM Bird Search Taught Me About Surviving The Newborn Phase
I was standing in the kitchen at 3:14 AM wearing my husband's college sweatpants that had this unidentifiable crust on the left knee, vibrating with the kind of exhaustion that makes your teeth hurt. Leo was about four weeks old...
A Safe, Messy Roasted Baby Carrots Recipe for Weaning
I'm currently staring at a smear of pureed orange sludge slowly sliding down my left kitchen cabinet, wondering at what point in my life I became a person who actively scrubs root vegetables off the walls. It's 5:30 PM on...
Gravity, sofas, and the dizzying truth about spinning babies
"Don't try to pull me by the shoulders, Tom, you'll misalign my pelvis," Sarah hissed. She was currently suspended upside down with her knees on our mustard yellow sofa and her forearms flat on the living room rug, her face...