Magazine
The Rihanna baby era changed how I view my postpartum body
It was three in the morning and my breast pump was making that rhythmic, soul-crushing mechanical wheeze. I was sitting on the edge of the bed in a pair of stained sweatpants, mindlessly scrolling through pop culture gossip while my...
Why Oven Roasted Baby Potatoes Terrified Me (And How I Fix Them)
It was a Tuesday, exactly 5:43 PM, and I was wearing my husband Daveβs oversized college lacrosse t-shirt that smells vaguely of basement and stale coffee. I had reheated my morning coffee four times at this point, and I was...
The Morbid Truth About Rock a Bye Baby and Why It Still Works
Don't open up a search engine at three in the morning to research the origins of nursery rhymes while bouncing a screaming infant. It's a terrible idea that only leads to weird historical rabbit holes and more anxiety. I know...
Rosemarys Baby Skincare: Herb Safety And Motherhood Anxiety
Listen, my living room smelled like eucalyptus and deep regret. I was staring at a dark green glass dropper bottle at two in the morning, holding my four-month-old son who was currently covered in a bright red, furious rash. The...
Letter to Past Me: That Sorry Baby Movie Is Definitely Not A Comedy
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the faded living room rug in your yoga pants, elbow-deep in a mountain of mismatched toddler socks, staring blindly at the streaming menu. Your oldest is trying to feed his...
What I Learned About Birth Plans After Sparkle Megan Has A Baby
I was halfway through surgically removing a layer of cemented, fossilised Weetabix from the highchair straps when my phone vibrated off the kitchen counter. A friend had sent me a link to an article about Megan Waleriusβthe bubbly, sequin-wearing contestant...
That viral stone baby video is lying to you about pregnancy
It's two in the morning and I'm watching my toddler practice his mixed martial arts kicks in his sleep while my phone screen illuminates the dark. The algorithm, in its infinite wisdom, has decided that what a tired mother really...
How A Sugar Baby Watermelon Defeated Me And My Twin Toddlers
If you ever find yourself wondering whether a standard kitchen sponge is abrasive enough to remove dried fruit pulp from a matte-painted wall, let me save you a frantic Google search. It isn't. You need a dedicated scraper and a...
Why The Modern Baby-Sitters Club Reboot Is Actually Good
Sitting on my sofa last weekend, I made a critical error in judgment. I queued up the baby-sitters club 1995 movie for my ten-year-old niece, Maya, expecting a beautiful bonding moment over vintage denim and childhood innocence. Don't do this....