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Why I Was Completely Wrong About Rasseln FΓΌr Babys As A New Dad
It was Tuesday at roughly 4:12 PM, and my living room looked like a warehouse explosion at a brightly colored plastics factory. I was sitting on the rug holding a neon green plastic hippo. I shook it. It emitted a...
Dear past me: The messy truth about your first body merinowolle
You're currently standing in front of the Zanussi washing machine at three in the morning, holding what used to be a sixty-quid newborn base layer and is now a felted coaster suitable only for a rather small espresso cup. You're...
The great crib myth and finding a safe gestrickte babydecke
I was standing in the nursery, meticulously folding a beautiful, sage-green knit blanket over the edge of the crib mattress. I had spent twenty minutes getting the drape exactly right. The room looked like a high-end catalog shoot, completely ready...
The truth about Holzspielzeug 2 JΓ€hrige and surviving toddlerhood
Listen. It was Tuesday at three in the morning when my foot found the plastic farm animal. I was shuffling toward the kitchen to get water, sleep-deprived and freezing in the middle of a Chicago winter, and my heel came...
The Buggy Spielzeug Survival Guide (Because I Almost Lost It)
I was sweating through a grey Zara sweater that honestly already smelled like old milk, standing outside a bakery on a Tuesday in April. It was raining, naturally. Maya was ten months old and doing that back-arching scream that makes...
Angebote Kinderwagen: A Tech Dad's Guide to Debugging Baby Transport
"Don't spend more than $200, they just poop in it anyway," my brother-in-law told me over a hazy IPA at a brewery in the Pearl District, gesturing vaguely at his toddler who was currently eating a coaster. Literally the next...
The 3 AM bunny and blanket crisis that broke me
My hands were elbow-deep in a hamper of sour-smelling sleep sacks at three in the morning. The radiator in our Chicago apartment was making that metallic rhythmic clanking sound it always makes when it drops below zero outside. From the...
The Great Tulle Disaster: A Dad's Guide to Baby Kleider MΓ€dchen
I was sitting in the back of a rented Subaru in a gravel parking lot in Bend, Oregon, frantically trying to debug a zipper that was hopelessly jammed in three layers of synthetic tulle. The temperature outside was pushing ninety...
The Physics Of A Kuscheldecke Gross (And Why I Tasered My Baby)
We were twenty minutes into a severely delayed family movie night, the Portland rain was hammering the windows, and I made a tactical error. I grabbed the massive, fluffy gray fleece blanket we bought at a big box store three...