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Why Your Newborn's Length Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means
"Well, look at those long legs, he's got size fourteen feet in his future for sure!" my great-aunt Linda practically hollered across the patio, hoisting my three-week-old oldest son like a prize-winning bass at the family barbecue. Everyone nodded sagely....
Why I Swear By Unscented Aveeno For My Kids Eczema Nightmares
I was halfway down on my left knee, skidding across the wet bathroom linoleum while my oldest screamed bloody murder and thrashed around in what was supposed to be a soothing bedtime soak. It was 2019, my husband was working...
A Letter To Myself Before Buying That Artipoppe Baby Carrier
Dear Tom of six months ago. You're currently hiding in the downstairs loo, aren't you? The twins are simultaneously screaming in the living room, there's a distinct smell of sour milk on your favourite jumper, and you're staring at your...
Pampers Club App: A Dad's Data-Driven Take on the Diaper Economy
The biggest myth new parents tell themselves is that they wonβt fall for the corporate gamification of bodily fluids. Before my son was born, I was highly idealistic. I told my wife weβd be strictly off-the-grid regarding consumer data. No...
The Brutal Truth About the Infantino Baby Carrier (My Meltdown)
I was standing in the Target parking lot at 2 PM on a sweltering Tuesday, wearing maternity leggings with a crusty mystery stain on the left knee, desperately trying to click a piece of stiff plastic into another piece of...
What Is a Trust Fund Baby? Building Real Wealth for Your Kids
I was sitting at my kitchen table last Tuesday, sorting through a chaotic stack of shipping labels for my Etsy shop, when I caught my oldest son trying to feed a twenty-dollar bill to the dog. This is the same...
Stop Buying Tiny Suits: The Truth About Dressing Baby Boys
I'm currently staring at a giant plastic tote bin in my garage, holding a pair of stiff, mustard-yellow baby corduroy overalls that still have the tags on them. Next to them is a tiny plaid button-down shirt that feels suspiciously...
The Truth About Baby Shower Party Favors People Actually Want
I was standing by the industrial trash can at the local VFW hall last weekend, double-fisting a lukewarm sweet tea and a paper plate of dry sheet cake, watching my cousin's friends secretly dump their party gifts. They were doing...
How to Take Decent Baby Pictures Without Losing Your Entire Mind
I was sweating through my favorite gray t-shirt, balancing on one foot on a dining room chair, making noises that sounded like a dying turkey. Below me, my oldest son, Hunter, was screaming bloody murder from inside a $60 woven...