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A Letter to Myself About Those Aesthetic Silicone Teething Toys
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting cross-legged on the gross, unfinished plywood floor of the attic. You're wearing that oversized grey college sweatshirt with the mysterious mustard stain on the left cuff, sweating profusely because it's...
The Brutal Truth About Buying Safe Non Toxic Teethers Today
Your mother-in-law is convinced the baby's 102-degree fever and explosive blowout are just teething signs. I've seen a thousand of these exact cases roll through the pediatric triage desk, usually accompanied by a panicked parent holding a drool-soaked infant at...
The truth about tree sap teethers and your baby's weird fevers
I was staring at a thermometer flashing 102.4 in red, convinced my daughter's bottom lateral incisor was trying to kill her. My mother-in-law had already called twice to tell me it was just teething and I should rub a little...
The Brutal Truth About Why Your Baby Needs A Silicone Hand Teether
The absolute biggest lie older generations will tell you is that a baby chewing on their fists means they're starving. I remember sitting in the back of my Honda CRV in a Target parking lot when my son Leo was...
Decoding the Bunny Teether: Why This Specific Shape Actually Works
"Put a wet washcloth in the freezer," my mother told me on a Tuesday. "Rub a tiny drop of whiskey on his gums," my uncle suggested on Wednesday. "You need a raw Baltic amber necklace to align his electromagnetic field,"...
Why buying a baby comb for a completely bald infant makes sense
Before the twins arrived, my mother-in-law handed me a beautifully wrapped, eco-friendly grooming kit containing a wildly soft bristle brush and a tiny wooden toothed implement. I looked at the ultrasound pictures stuck to my fridgeβtwo indistinct blurry blobs that...
The Truth About That First Xray of Baby Teeth (A Letter to Past Me)
Dear Jess from last October. I know exactly where you're right now. You're currently trapped in the waiting room of Dr. Evans' pediatric dental office, sweating entirely through your favorite vintage baby tee, watching Wyatt systematically dismantle a wooden bead...
Why most baby rings belong in the trash and the gear you actually need
I was scrolling social media at two in the morning while nursing a furious six-month-old when I saw it. A literal infant floating in a bathtub with an inflatable plastic inner tube strapped around his neck. The caption said something...
I Googled "Do Baby Teeth Have Roots" at 3 AM and Now I'm Terrified
It's exactly 3:14 AM, and my index finger is currently wedged inside my eleven-month-old's mouth. I'm conducting a blind tactical sweep of his lower gums because he has been waking up screaming every two hours, and I'm desperately trying to...