The 3AM Zipper Wars: An Exhausted Dadβs Guide to Baby Pajamas
It was November 2022, the radiator in our drafty Victorian flat was clanking like a dying tractor, and I was holding two identical, screaming infants who felt exactly like hot water bottles wrapped in synthetic fleece. My wife was furiously...
Dear Past Marcus: A Debugging Guide to Dressing Your Infant
Dear Marcus of exactly six months ago: I can see you right now. You're standing over the changing table at 3:17 AM in our freezing Portland apartment, sweating profusely while holding a squirming, screaming five-month-old, trying to figure out how...
The Truth About That Heirloom Crochet Blanket Pattern
It was, like, 3 AM on a Tuesday in 2017 and I was sitting on my living room rug wearing my husbandβs stained gray college sweatpants, completely tangled in mint green yarn. I was seven months pregnant with Maya and...
Why Your Baby's Favorite Stuffed Animal Matters (And Terrifies Me)
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my husband was out in the driveway in his boxer shorts, aggressively sweeping a flashlight under the seats of our minivan. I was inside, ripping apart the couch cushions and interrogating our...
The Real Deal on Baby Pacifier Safety, Mold, and Sleep
When Maya was exactly three days old, I sat on my sagging living room couch wearing mesh postpartum underwear and a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk, holding a screaming, red-faced potato of a newborn while receiving completely...






