Magazine

A small kitten chewing on a silicone teether next to a toddler

Finding Fangs: When Do Cats Lose Their Baby Teeth

Listen. I was pulling dried oatmeal off Maya's favorite baby tee when I stepped on the needle. It wasn't a sewing needle, though. I reached down to rub my heel, fully expecting to pull out a rogue piece of plastic...

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Glass bottle of liquor sitting mistakenly next to organic baby items

Wait What Whiskey Is Balcones Baby Blue Doing In The Nursery

I was sitting on my living room floor surrounded by crumpled pastel tissue paper and half-opened gift bags from my baby shower. My mother-in-law was perched on the sofa keeping a literal ledger of who bought what so the thank-you...

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A tired dad holding a baby with a small bald spot on the back of its head.

Debugging The Baby Don't Be Bald Panic At Two In The Morning

It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday when I found myself hovering over the crib, shining my iPhone flashlight directly onto the back of my 11-month-old son's head. I was trying to measure the exact radius of the bald spot...

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Dad holding a teething toy in front of a blue patterned nursery wall

Why We Tore Down The Nursery Walls At 3 AM For Blue Paper

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at a wall painted a shade the DIY shop had optimistically called 'Sunshine Morning' but which, in the harsh glow of a dimmable nightlight, looked more like 'Aggressive Custard'....

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A baby pressing laptop keys while a tired dad drinks cold coffee

Surviving the Inevitable Baby Keyboard Smash in My Home Office

"asdfghjkl;'" was the exact, unedited message I sent to my accountant last Tuesday at 9:14 AM. I'd love to claim it was an avant-garde statement about the futility of modern tax law, but the truth is considerably shorter, louder, and...

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Public restroom baby changing station with safety strap and black buckle visible

The Brutal Truth About That Public Baby Changing Station Strap

My mother-in-law told me to never let my kid's bare skin touch a public changing table. She suggested I do all diaper changes in the trunk of our sedan, like some sort of parking lot mobster. My favorite doom-scrolling app...

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A tired father staring blankly at two bowls of water on a changing mat

The "stump tail baby lala" incident and other newborn horrors

It was 3:14 AM on our third day home from the hospital, and I was holding a freshly un-nappied twin at arm's length, staring in abject horror at her abdomen. Attached to her tiny, perfect belly was a shriveling, alien...

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Tired mom sitting in a nursery glider looking at her phone in the dark.

Why That Reality TV Baby Drama Actually Made Me Scream

It was 3:14 AM, and I was pinned under my oldest son in a rocking chair that squeaked every time I shifted my weight. My C-section incision felt like it was actively unzipping, I smelled like sour milk, and my...

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A highly suspicious infant looking at a plastic spoon covered in beige oat mush

Surviving the great weaning transition of 2022

It was precisely 11:14 am on a Tuesday, and I was standing on a dining chair trying to scrape what appeared to be organic beige cement off the kitchen ceiling with a silicone spatula. The twins were exactly six months...

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