Magazine

A very confused mom holding a baby while looking at a smartphone

My Kids, The Ice Age Baby Meme, and Freezing Winter Survival

Let me tell you about the exact moment I realized I was officially old and entirely unprepared for both internet culture and actual, literal winter. It was like, negative three degrees outside on a Tuesday in January, I was wearing...

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Exhausted mom holding a crying newborn in a dimly lit nursery at 3 AM

The "Be My Baby" Delusion: Surviving Your First Year Alive

I'm sitting on the edge of a creaky glider at 4:17 AM while my oldest, Wyatt, arches his back like a feral cat who just got dipped in cold water. I remember standing there in the dark, smelling vaguely of...

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Twin toddlers making a massive mess with orange baby food in the kitchen

Surviving the Baby Spice Era: Turmeric Stains and 90s Pop

There's a very specific, aggressive shade of yellow that a pulverized carrot takes on when you enthusiastically fold half a teaspoon of turmeric into it, and I can tell you exactly what it looks like because it's currently permanently bonded...

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Tired mom holding a crying newborn in a dark nursery

Why Looking Up Ice Ice Baby Lyrics At 3 AM Changed My Parenting

It was 3:17 in the morning, and my oldest was screaming with the kind of red-faced, breathless stamina that makes you seriously question your life choices. I was sitting on a cheap, half-deflated yoga ball in our drafty Texas farmhouse,...

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Vintage plush toy sitting next to a modern wooden baby gym

The Truth About Finding Your Kid's Beanie Baby Birthday Twin

The biggest myth about millennial parenting is that our childhood artifacts belong in our babies' mouths. You see it on social media constantly. A perfectly filtered, beige nursery. A pristine six-month-old sitting on a linen rug. And in their chubby...

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A teenager playing with a baby on a playmat in a living room

Nostalgia and Reality: Hiring Your First Sitter

I'm standing in my kitchen, wearing a nursing bra stained with something yellow, staring at a sixteen-year-old named Chloe who just asked me if babies can eat grapes whole. This was my first attempt at hiring a baby sitter. I...

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Two tiny baby jordans scattered across a messy living room floor next to a chewed silicone teether

Dear Past Tom: The Expensive, Absurd Reality of Baby Jordans

Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently sweating through your grey t-shirt, pinning Florence between your knees while attempting to force her inexplicably square, fleshy foot into a miniature, stiff leather basketball shoe. She's screaming as if you've suggested...

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The truth about surviving the baby groot merchandise invasion

I was elbow-deep under the sofa cushions on a Tuesday morning, executing a routine sweep for rogue Cheerios and whatever sticky substance had claimed the TV remote, when my fingers brushed against something hard, plastic, and distinctly anatomical. I pulled...

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Toddler girl wearing a comfortable organic cotton babydoll dress playing in the grass

Why Babydoll Dresses Are Secretly a Parent's Best Friend

It’s ninety-five degrees in East Texas, and my mother-in-law is trying to shoehorn my oldest child into a stiff, tulle monstrosity that looks like a wedding cake exploded. My kid is screaming like a feral cat in a church pew....

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