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Dear Past Tom: The Truth About Achieving That Baby Smoove Skin
Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the cold tiles of the downstairs loo at 3:14 AM, the only room in the house where you can turn on a light without waking your wife or the twins....
Why The Whole Infant Octopus Trend Almost Broke My Mama Sanity
I was standing at my kitchen island at 2:00 PM on a Tuesday, poking a slick, purple tentacle with a pair of tongs, questioning every life choice that had led me to this moment. My oldest son, Liam, was fourteen...
That Time a Baby Fox Invaded Our Garden (And Teething Saved Us)
It was 6:13 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the kitchen wearing one sock, watching my daughter aggressively gnaw on the corner of our faux-mid-century sideboard like a starved termite. I glanced out the glass doors hoping...
Why Baby Face Nelson Has Nothing on My Toddler
It's 4:17 in the morning, and the glowing screen of my phone is illuminating half of my face while the other half is being rhythmically kicked by a two-year-old foot. I'm frantically trying to Google why one of my twin...
The Baby Bottle Pop Hack That Actually Works (And What Fails)
Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the cold kitchen tiles at 2:14 AM wearing that grey Def Leppard t-shirtβthe one with the hole in the left armpit that smells vaguely like old French roast and pure...
The yellow baby panic and other postpartum surprises
Three in the morning. The cheap humidifier is humming in the corner, throwing a weird blue light across the bassinet. I'm staring at my newborn son's face, trying to figure out if the bulb is casting strange shadows or if...
What a wild baby beaver in Chicago taught me about toddlers
We were standing ankle-deep in mysterious brown water at the North Park Village Nature Center when I saw it. The temperature was hovering around forty-eight degrees. My son had already thrown his left shoe into a patch of reeds. I...
When Do Babies Get Teeth? A Dad's Troubleshooting Guide
Dear Marcus from six months ago: Put down the tactical flashlight. She is not going to let you look in her mouth, and shining a 1000-lumen beam at a five-month-old's face at 2 AM is exactly why your wife is...
Why raising a toddler feels exactly like domesticating a wild mammal
It was three in the morning and my son was slick with sweat, drool, and the unmistakable rage of a creature who had just discovered teeth. He was thrashing against my chest, refusing the bottle I was offering. I was...