Debugging the Roblox Baby Nessie Meltdown
Whatever you do, don't try to explain the mathematics of random number generation to an eight-year-old who's actively weeping onto your couch cushions. I learned this the hard way last Saturday. My nephew Leo was visiting for the weekend, huddled...
Surviving The Kpop Demon Hunters Baby Phase With Twin Toddlers
I'm currently crouched behind our kitchen island at 6:15 am, clutching a lukewarm mug of instant coffee and watching my two-year-old daughters attempt a synchronized tactical roll across the living room rug. One of them is holding a rather grubby...
The Baphi Baby Search Incident: Why I Threw Our iPad Away
I was up to my elbows in raw chicken and breadcrumbs when I heard it. That specific, slightly robotic chime of the voice-assistant activating on the family iPad that my three-year-old had dragged into the kitchen. I didn't think much...
Why the Baki Baby Meme is Bizarre and What Real Strength Looks Like
I was sitting on the floor of my home office last Tuesday, trying to fulfill three Etsy orders for custom vinyl tumblers while simultaneously folding a mountain of tiny, mismatched socks, when my sisterβs fourteen-year-old nephew strolled in. He stepped...
Why I Threw Out the iPad: Real Talk on Baby Screen Time Limits
I was packing up three Etsy orders for custom birth announcement signs, trying to balance my phone on my knee, and completely failing to ignore my youngest baby screaming for his morning nap. I had this grand idea to find...
The Day I Surrendered to YouTube Baby Videos (And Then Panicked)
It was 4:17 PM on a Tuesday in late November, which in London means it had been pitch black outside for what felt like three consecutive days, and both girls were currently engaged in a competitive screaming match on the...
Why Muppet Babies Is The Only Reboot I Tolerate
It's exactly 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my 11-month-old son is attempting to aggressively eat the Roku remote. I'm running on three hours of fragmented sleep and half a cup of cold, day-old pour-over coffee. The biggest myth they...
The Chaos of Niche Chinese Babies Lyrics in Our London Flat
It was 6:13 AM on a Tuesday, and my living room floor was already covered in a sticky layer of crushed oatcakes and unidentifiable moisture. Twin A had Twin B in what I can only describe as a competitive headlock...
The Nintendo Baby Video Chat Hack That Saved My Postpartum Sanity
It was 3:14 AM, the absolute worst time of the night, and the only light in my Texas living room was the soft, blue glow of my TV screen. My oldest sonβwho I love dearly but who is the ultimate...