Magazine

A tired mother sitting on a rug surrounded by wooden toys and baby clothes

JD Vance baby: The messy truth about waiting for the perfect time

Listen. It's 3 AM. The radiator in our Chicago apartment sounds like a dying car engine, and my toddler has decided sleep is an offensive concept. I'm sitting in the dark, watching my phone screen illuminate the spit-up stain on...

Read more

A tired mother looking at a glowing smartphone while a toddler sits nearby

Why explicit industry baby lyrics are ruining my mornings now

The digital clock said 5:42 AM. The sky over Chicago was the color of wet concrete, and my coffee hadn't even finished dripping. I turned my back for three seconds to grab a mug. That was enough time for my...

Read more

A tired dad holding a swaddled baby in a dimly lit nursery

Why Selena Gomez Replaced Traditional Lullabies In My House

I'm standing on the specific landing floorboard I know doesn't creak, doing the desperate, rhythmic sway of a man who hasn't slept a full night since 2021. Maya is draped over my left shoulder, drooling a small, warm lake into...

Read more

Exhausted mom singing into a wooden spoon while a toddler pulls her leg.

I Can Be Your Hero Baby: Why the Supermom Myth is Total Trash

I was standing at the kitchen sink yesterday, elbow-deep in cold dishwater and crusted oatmeal, when my throwback playlist shuffled to Enrique Iglesias. Right as he dramatically whispered that he can be your hero, baby, I actually snorted so loud...

Read more

Dad wearing a green tactical baby carrier with pouches attached while hiking on a dirt trail.

Why My Husband's Tactical Baby Carrier Actually Drives Me Crazy

"You're going to overheat that poor child in that bulletproof vest," my mom announced from the kitchen island, staring at the massive olive-green rig strapped to my husband's chest. Not five minutes later, his hunting buddy Mike texted him a...

Read more

A confused dad looking at the back of a prenatal vitamin bottle in a grocery store.

What Thalidomide Babies Taught Us About The Placenta Firewall

I was standing in aisle 14 of the Hawthorne Fred Meyer at 9 PM on a Tuesday, aggressively squinting at the back of a ginger supplement bottle while my pregnant wife dry-heaved in the passenger seat of our Subaru. She...

Read more

Exhausted mom watching micro dramas on her phone while nursing the baby in a dark room

Why That Baby Star They Regret Losing Drama Wrecked My Sleep

The blue light from my cracked iPhone screen was violently illuminating the dried spit-up on my shoulder, and the microwave clock in the kitchen read exactly 3:14 AM. I was pinned under an eighteen-pound milk-drunk four-month-old, my legs were entirely...

Read more

A tired mom holding a coffee cup while reading about a mother gorilla and her newborn infant on a smartphone.

Why Gladys the Cincinnati Zoo Gorilla Is My New Parenting Hero

It was 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, I was wearing my husband Mark’s college lacrosse hoodie that smells faintly of old garlic, and I was staring at a gorilla on my phone while my coffee went completely cold. Like, literally...

Read more

Tired parents sitting on the floor of a messy baby nursery at night

What the Dijon Baby Album Got Right About New Parent Anxiety

It was 2:13 AM, and my husband was sitting on the edge of the bathtub just staring at the tile grout while our oldestβ€”who's basically a walking cautionary tale for why you shouldn't blindly trust anything you read in a...

Read more