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Dear Past Me: The Truth About That Newborn Jumper Fantasy
Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently sitting on the hallway floor of our terribly drafted London flat at 3:14 in the morning. Your left shoulder smells aggressively of sour milk, your right knee is entirely numb from the...
That Viral Crochet Leaf Blanket Pattern: What No One Tells You
When I first decided I was going to make something beautiful for my third baby's nursery, the opinions came flying at me faster than a toddler hopped up on apple juice. My grandma told me to just use whatever cheap...
Dear Past Marcus: Troubleshooting the Great Baby Mat Matrix
Row 47 of my "Baby Infrastructure" Google Sheet is where my sanity finally encountered a fatal error. It was 2:14 AM. The ambient temperature in the nursery was exactly 71.4 degrees, I had logged 11 wet diapers for the day,...
Wie groΓ sollte eine Babydecke sein? A dad's troubleshooting guide
The left rear wheel of the stroller locked up with a brutal clicking noise right in the middle of a crosswalk in Portlandβs Pearl District. It was raining, obviously, because we live in Oregon and taking an 11-month-old outside requires...
The Brutal Truth About Fox Pelt Blankets in Your Baby's Nursery
When my mother-in-law's sister visited right after my daughter was born, she brought a genuine silver fox fur throw in a massive garment bag. She told me real pelts were the only way to keep winter babies properly insulated, citing...
The Great Layering Crash: Figuring Out Fall Baby Girl Outfits
We were in the back of my Subaru Outback in the Sauvie Island pumpkin patch parking lot, and my eleven-month-old daughter was emitting the thermal energy of a small sun. It was maybe 58 degrees outside. But inside the car,...
Bedruckte Baby Strampler: Troubleshooting the Custom Romper
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was using my iPhone flashlight to inspect the inner thighs of my screaming eleven-month-old. Leo was wearing a custom printed "Future Coder - Loading 50%" romper that my brother had proudly...
The ugly truth about silicone jewelry teething trends and safety
I was standing in the checkout line at the Target on Roosevelt Road with a lukewarm cold brew I was too exhausted to actually drink when the geometric mint-green necklace snapped. Maya had a death grip on the nylon string....
Dear Past Marcus: You Will Wear Silicone Teething Jewelry
Itβs 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and youβre standing in the kitchen watching Maya try to tape her favorite delicate gold chain back together while our five-month-old daughter looks on with zero remorse. Youβre currently thinking, Wow, babies have an...