Decoding European Baby Formula When You Are Running on No Sleep
The timestamp on our smart nursery thermometer read 3:14 AM. I was sitting cross-legged on the kitchen tiles, surrounded by three different brands of domestic baby powder, a sticky bottle, and a 4-month-old who sounded like a dial-up modem failing...
Freestyle Lil Baby & Car Rides: Bass, Babies, and Eardrums
My mother-in-law Sheila leaned right into the bassinet and told me, in absolute dead earnestness, that playing Mozart at a low volume was the only mathematically proven way to build brain cells in an infant. My 22-year-old cousin, who by...
The Unfiltered Reality of Raising a Baby and a Puppy at the Same Time
I was sitting flat on the cold kitchen linoleum at three in the morning, nursing a highly irritable four-month-old on my left side, while a ten-week-old golden retriever mix actively tried to swallow the fuzzy pom-pom off my right slipper....
Decoding The Baby Poop Chart By Age (Without Losing Your Mind)
I'm standing in the nursery, holding my phone flashlight in my mouth, wearing a nursing tank that smells violently like sour milk and desperation, staring into the dark, terrifying depths of my newborn daughter Mayaβs diaper. It's 3:14 AM. The...
The 2 AM Snot Panic and the Alligator Wrestling Match
I was sitting in the rocking chair at two in the morning, holding my oldest kid when he was just three weeks old, and he sounded exactly like a forty-pound pug who had just run a marathon in the Texas...
The Midnight Madness of Baby MORI Sacks and Tog Ratings
It's 3:14 in the morning on a profoundly wet Tuesday in November, and I'm standing in the exact centre of our Victorian terrace's nursery holding a plastic egg that glows an angry, accusatory red. This egg is supposed to tell...
Why I Have Mixed Feelings About Baby Merlin's Magic Sleepsuit
My sister-in-law texted me at 2:14 PM on a random Tuesday with zero context: "Buy the baby merlin's magic sleepsuit right now, it literally cured Leo's regression overnight." Two hours later, my neighborβwho makes her own oat milk and only...
The Ultimate Play Mat Baby Survival Guide For Exhausted Parents
I'm sitting cross-legged on my faded West Elm rug. Itβs a Tuesday morning in 2017, I'm wearing black maternity leggings that I aggressively refuse to retire even though Maya is four months old, and I'm staring at a flashing, screeching,...
How A Weird Little Platypus Baby Cured My Milestone Anxiety
I was sitting on the freezing hexagonal tiles of our extremely cramped downstairs bathroom at 3:14 AM wearing a pair of Dave's gym shorts that Iβd aggressively rolled up at the waist and a nursing tank covered in what I...