Magazine

Exhausted dad staring in pure panic at a tiny gold baby bracelet

The Brutal Truth About Baby Bracelets and Why I Totally Panicked

We were somewhere between the second slice of dry Victoria sponge and Florence’s inevitable afternoon meltdown when my wife's great-aunt produced the velvet box. We had survived the actual christening with only a moderate amount of screaming (mostly from me,...

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A pregnant mother laughing at a baby shower while sitting in a comfortable chair with back support

Smart Baby Boy Shower Ideas That Aren't Blue Plastic Bowties

I'm currently sitting on the concrete floor of my garage in ninety-degree Texas heat, staring into a plastic storage bin from 2018. It's filled to the absolute brim with paper mustaches on sticks, neon blue plastic bowties, and tiny glittery...

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Dad trying to put a shirt on a squirming 11-month-old boy

Debugging the baby boy wardrobe: A first-time dad’s logs

My thumb was actively bleeding. It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, rain was aggressively battering our Portland bedroom window, and I was locked in a physical struggle with a tiny, angry, poop-covered human. The adversary was a rigid denim...

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Twin toddler girls playing a video game while wearing organic cotton clothing

Searching for baby bowser: Screen time, hair bows, and pure panic

It was 6:14 on a Tuesday morning, a time when civilized society is safely asleep, but my living room looked like the aftermath of a minor coup. Twin A (Mia) was clutching the Nintendo Switch controller to her chest like...

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A fussy baby girl sitting on a blanket trying to pull a large pink bow off her head

The Truth About Baby Bows (And The Red Marks They Leave)

I was standing in the middle of a dusty Texas bluebonnet patch off Highway 290, sweating completely through my shirt while my four-month-old screamed like a tiny, furious baby Bowser. She was thrashing around, clawing at her own head, trying...

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Jess's messy kitchen counter showing a bottle sterilizer next to clean silicone teethers and glass bottles

My Honest Journey to Finding the Best Baby Bottle Sterilizer

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing over a pot of rolling boiling water with a pair of metal kitchen tongs, desperately trying to fish out a pump flange before it melted to the bottom of...

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A bewildered dad staring at a sleeping newborn baby

A Baby Born In Portland: My Complete First-Time Dad Meltdown

The thermostat in Room 314 of the maternity ward was locked at exactly 68 degrees, but I was sweating through my gray hoodie like I was pushing a critical database update to production at 2 AM with no backup. My...

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Toddler pulling off heavy winter boots on a rug

Dear Past Priya: The Ugly Truth About Buying Baby Boots

Dear Priya from last November. You're currently wedged between the radiator and the front door of our Chicago apartment, sweating completely through your shirt. You're trying to wrestle a screaming nine-month-old into a tiny fleece snowsuit while staring at a...

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A confused dad looking at his phone next to a baby playing with wooden toys

Decoding the Baby Booter Slang: A Dad's Guide to Internet Traps

My mother-in-law texted me at 7:00 AM asking if I'd installed the "booter seat" in the car yet. An hour later, a buddy from my old dev team Slack messaged me a laughing emoji and said I was officially a...

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