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My Strange Internet Rabbit Hole: The Beanie Baby Payhip Search
I was standing in the kitchen at 11:42 AM on a Tuesday, wearing my husband's college sweatpants that have a mysterious bleach stain on the left knee, holding a mug of coffee that had been microwaved three separate times since...
Why bringing a baby tortoise into a toddler home is a terrible idea
It's 2:14 AM and I'm standing in my living room using a digital meat thermometer to measure the ambient soil temperature of a wooden box. Inside this box is a creature roughly the size of a rich tea biscuit that...
The Ultimate Real-Life Baby Steps Trophy Guide for Parents
I was elbow-deep in shipping labels for my Etsy shop, desperately trying to get twelve custom nursery signs out the door before the post office closed, when I heard it. The distinct, terrifying sound of a twenty-pound human achieving bipedal...
That First Slippery Baby Pear And The Constipation Chronicles
My thumb was covered in aquaphor and desperation. It was day four of the great solid-food bowel strike, and my son was looking at me like I had betrayed him. Starting solids at six months is heavily romanticized on the...
The Great Padded Donut Deception: A Father's Baby Nest Confession
I was standing in the middle of our cramped London flat at 3:17 a.m., holding what looked like an oversized, over-engineered dog bed, desperately trying to remember which twin I had just fed. Maya was wailing from the Moses basket,...
Surviving the Chaos of Smoking Baby Back Ribs With Toddlers
It was 4:13 PM on the Thursday before Memorial Day, and I was wearing my absolute favorite, completely impractical white linen top from Zara. I don't know why I wore white. It was an act of extreme hubris. My husband,...
A Letter to Myself About the Absurdity of Smocked Baby Clothes
Dear Tom of six months ago. I know exactly where you're right now. You're standing in the upstairs bathroom at your mother-in-law's house, holding Maya at arm's length over the porcelain sink. You're staring at a Β£75 hand-smocked, pale blue...
Megan Walerius, Birth Plans, and the Chaos of Expectations
When we announced the twins were on the way, I received three distinct pieces of advice within a forty-five-minute window at my local pub. My mother, clutching a small glass of sherry, told us to simply let nature take its...
Raising A Linxia Baby: The Unfiltered Truth About Newborn Life
I was standing in the Target baby aisle at 9 PM on a Tuesday, completely dead inside, while my oldest son Jackson screamed against my chest in a carrier that I was probably wearing wrong. He was three weeks old....