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A dad's guide to the elusive baby turkey (and weaning woes)
It was 5:17 in the morning when the farm animal flap-book aggressively entered my peripheral vision, wielded by Twin A, who had somehow escaped her sleeping bag and decided that the pre-dawn darkness was the ideal time for agricultural education....
Why Talking to Your Infant Like a Roommate Actually Works
The biggest, most pervasive lie we're sold about motherhood is that you need a degree in early childhood development and a voice that shatters glass to properly entertain an infant. I used to actually make my throat sore trying to...
The Science Behind Why My Bad Singing Is the Best Baby Song Hack
It's 3:14 AM, and my phone's screen brightness is aggressively burning a hole in my retinas while I frantically scroll through Spotify. I'm trying to find this viral audio I saw on a parenting reel yesterday. Apparently, some influencer swore...
That Time My Toddler Tried To Pet A Baby Skunk In The Backyard
I was wearing my husband's college sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the knee, holding my third cup of reheated dark roast, just staring blankly at the azalea bushes when Leo screamed, "MOMMY, SPICY KITTEN!" I froze. It was...
What The Gypsy Rose Baby Taught Me About Generational Trauma
It’s 3:14 AM. I’m sitting on the cold tile of my bathroom floor wearing Dave’s gross college sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left knee, holding a sleeping Leo who currently feels like a thirty-pound sack of wet...
The 'I Had a Baby Without You Dailymotion' Solo Parent Truth
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was covered in a highly suspicious layer of what I stubbornly told myself was only pureed sweet potato. Twin A was asleep on my chest, breathing with the heavy, damp rattle...
How I Finally Decoded My 11-Month-Old's I Love You Baby Signals
It’s 3:14 AM, and the hallway floorboards are creaking under my exact, heavily mapped pacing route. He’s arching his back like he’s trying to bridge a network connection with the ceiling, and my brain is completely empty of any actual,...
The Rihanna baby era changed how I view my postpartum body
It was three in the morning and my breast pump was making that rhythmic, soul-crushing mechanical wheeze. I was sitting on the edge of the bed in a pair of stained sweatpants, mindlessly scrolling through pop culture gossip while my...
The Baby Owl Bug: Sleep Hacks, Separation Panic and Bird Law
My mom told me on Tuesday to just let him cry it out because he's testing my authority, which is hilarious because he's eleven months old and mostly communicates by blowing raspberries at the dog. On Wednesday, our ultra-crunchy Portland...