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The 3 AM Battle Between Crusty Pink Eyes and Pastel Aesthetics
It was three in the morning the night before our big extended family photoshoot. I was sitting on the nursery floor staring at two very specific things. One was my fresh manicure, an expensive gel job featuring those trendy baby...
The Google Sheet That Nearly Broke Us: A Guide to Baby Girl Names
Row 47 of our shared Google Sheet was where my marriage nearly met its untimely end over the name 'Blythe'. My wife, heavily pregnant and radiating a sort of exhausted menace, argued that it sounded literary and sophisticated. I argued...
The Truth About Raising Daughters and Surviving the Pink Explosion
The ultrasound gel was freezing, and Dave was staring at the monitor like it was a blurry weather map he didn't quite understand. I was lying there in a paper gown that was definitely tearing at the shoulder, clutching a...
The Truth About Capri Leggings for Girls and Summer Knees
I was sitting in the back of my minivan in a Target parking lot last July, desperately trying to peel a pair of sweat-cemented, neon pink synthetic leggings off my screaming three-year-old, when I finally broke. The temperature in rural...
Why That Adorable Baby Girl Sweater Set is a Trap (And How to Survi...
There's a very specific, muffled grunting sound a three-month-old makes when you're trying to force her exceptionally wobbly, disproportionately large head through the unyielding neck-hole of a rigidly knitted garment. Itβs a noise that instantly broadcasts to the entire Costa...
The brutally honest guide to sorting out vetement bebe fille
I was standing in the dark holding a tiny, poop-covered denim jacket. It was week two of motherhood. Maya was screaming, I was crying, and I couldn't figure out how to unbutton three microscopic metal snaps while keeping her flailing...
Debugging the Glitchy Physics of Baby Formalwear and Outfits
My mom told me babies need a slip under their dress so the tulle doesn't scratch. My mother-in-law said anything with a skirt is basically a sleep hazard waiting to execute a critical failure. And the barista at my favorite...
Dear Tom: The truth about the long sleeve bubble romper
Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently sweating through your t-shirt in the narrow hallway of our flat, desperately trying to wedge Twin Aβs voluminous, balloon-shaped bottom half into a pair of slim-fit corduroy trousers. She is screaming. You're...
What I Got Wrong About Baby Girl Gifts: Real Talk From A Mom
Right now, I'm sitting on my living room floor staring down a neon pink tutu that someone just mailed to my youngest daughter, and I'm honestly trying to figure out if it's physically possible for cheap tulle to scratch a...