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My Nightmare Hunting Down a January 18th Beanie Baby
It was 2:14 in the morning, the harsh blue light of my phone screen burning my retinas while I sat on the floor of my laundry room, folding the fourth load of toddler pants for the week. I had just...
The Truth About That January 16 Beanie Baby Nursery Trend
So it’s 6:14 AM, I’m wearing Dan’s oversized college hoodie that smells faintly of spit-up and regret, and I’m staring blankly at a dusty purple hippo. My mother-in-law had triumphantly handed it to me the day before. "It's Tubbo!" she...
Troubleshooting the Nostalgia of a January 11th Beanie Baby Toy
It was 10:43 PM on a Tuesday, and I was deep into a terminal window trying to figure out why our staging environment kept throwing 502 gateway errors. My 11-month-old son, Leo, was finally asleep after what I can only...
Humphrey the Beanie Baby For One Crossword: Toy Safety Guide
I was standing at my kitchen island at 6:30 this morning, elbow-deep in shipping labels for my Etsy shop and desperately trying to drink my coffee before it hit room temperature, when my phone buzzed. It was a text from...
Why That October 8th Beanie Baby Birthday Twin Belongs on a Shelf
My mother-in-law brought over Bo the Portuguese Water Dog last week. She proudly announced he was an October 8th beanie baby, which meant he was my daughter's exact birthday twin. My sister-in-law immediately texted me to put it in the...
A Note From The Future About That October 6 Beanie Baby Idea
Dear Marcus from six months ago, you're currently hovering your cursor over the "Buy It Now" button on eBay at 2:14 AM while your five-month-old is finally asleep after what felt like a system-wide hardware failure. You've just discovered that...
The exact october 30th beanie baby that broke my brain
I'm sitting on the cold linoleum floor of my laundry room in a nursing bra that hasn't seen the inside of a washing machine in at least three days, aggressively refreshing an eBay tab on my cracked iPhone with one...
Dear past me, that vintage october 20th beanie baby is a trap
Listen, Priya from six months ago. You're sitting on the living room rug, staring at a crushed cardboard box that just arrived from your auntie in New Jersey. Inside is a pristine, tag-protected raccoon named Snoops. You're thinking it's incredibly...
Debugging the October 18 Beanie Baby Birthday Twin Trend
I was standing in the cramped, patchouli-scented aisle of a vintage shop on Hawthorne Boulevard, triumphantly holding a dusty plush skeleton from the year 2000. I thought I had just executed a brilliant parenting hack. My niece was about to...