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Why I Finally Banned Baby Super Bratz Movies in My House
I was up to my elbows in Etsy shipping labels, frantically trying to beat the rural Texas post office cutoff time, when I heard the unmistakable sound of my good MAC lipstick being dragged across the hardwood floor. You know,...
Low Oxygen Blue Skin Baby: A Panicked Parent's Late-Night Guide
My mother-in-law firmly stated over a Sunday roast that rubbing a tiny bit of brandy on the gums magically fixes bad circulation. Our local NHS health visitor murmured something entirely indecipherable about sensible thermal layering before vanishing into the London...
Choosing a baby boy christening outfit that won't cause tears
Listen. The priest was mid-prayer when I saw the kid in the front pew start doing the neck-crane. You know the exact one. That desperate little turtle movement they do when a stiff collar is slowly restricting their airway. I've...
Why john baby doll dixon won't help you buy a safe baby doll
My mother-in-law told me yesterday that Maya needed a doll immediately to develop her maternal instincts before she turns two. My pediatrician muttered something vaguely terrifying about the airway obstruction risks of cheap toy accessories. The woman next to me...
When GFWYK Baby Mel Lyrics Crashed Our Nursery Smart Speaker
Dear Marcus of six months ago, You're currently standing in the center of the nursery at 2:14 AM. You have a screaming five-month-old tucked like a football under your left arm, and your right hand is frantically tracing the power...
Reality Check: What Love Is Blind's Megan Got Right About Postpartum
"Sleep when the infant sleeps," my grandmother told me at my baby shower, sipping her sweet tea. "Hire a postpartum doula for fifty dollars an hour to do your laundry," said a girl I went to college with who now...
When is a baby no longer a newborn? The great potato awakening
I spent my first month as a father obsessively checking an app on my phone that promised to tell me precisely when the dreaded neonate phase would end. Don't do this. Don't set a calendar alert for four weeks post-delivery...
When Do Babies Sleep 7pm to 7am? A Tired Mom's Truth
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in mid-November, and I was standing in the middle of the nursery wearing a pair of maternity sweatpants that had a questionable yogurt stain on the thigh, rage-scrolling Instagram with my thumb while...
Debugging The Baby Don't Be Bald Panic At Two In The Morning
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday when I found myself hovering over the crib, shining my iPhone flashlight directly onto the back of my 11-month-old son's head. I was trying to measure the exact radius of the bald spot...